If you could choose someone to reincarnate in, who would it be?
I'd have to say Terminator.
Not to offend you, but you know that that's not a real person, right?
YOU ARE NOT REAL!
Which is your earliest memory?
I have a very indistinct and strange remembrance. I'm in an almost endless room filled with wooden crates. An old man moves a large wooden box with some black words blazed on it and disappears in a corridor.
Well, I believe this is a scene from the movie "Riders of the Lost Ark".
Pfft! To be frank, yesterday night I dozed at a rerun.
I've heard you are about to publish a book. Would you like to share with us a few details?
The details on my imminent book will soon be printed in another book. What I can divulge here is that it will be a guide to choosing dental floss, a long awaited work soon to be released in daily instalments.
Do you know any good cough cure?
Yes, here it is my sure treatment for cough. Mix three parts of fernet, one part of ground coffee and some gravy. Put the resulting concoction on your wrists and your tongue.
Who were you in your first school play?
It was rather humiliating. It was a play on the life of Kurt Vonnegut. I played a carrot: the director was drunk most of the time.
Ellar, if I may ask, how do you invest the considerable fortune you make?
Well, I invested my fortune in a super-clever scheme devised by a financial genius named Charles Punzi, a mastermind of high-yield investment programs (whatever it means). I can give you his phone, but I wasn't able to reach him in the last few weeks.
• e-mail: yutmeyut -at- gmail.com • Disclaimer & Privacy •