I'm here today with Emily Mortimer, who just survived the mammoth task of her last movie. Hi, Emily, and welcome to Psychedelic Inteviews.
It's a pleasure being here, your pleasure.
If happiness were an animal, what would it be?
Surely a tiger. A large, fat, poised tiger, sated and dozy in the shade of a large tree.
Modern world seems to be subject to the problem of unstoppable violence and ferocity. What would Emily Mortimer do?
Actually, I believe that giving a security guard to every citizen can solve many problems, but most legislators are rapacious fossil punks.
Do you have any new tattoos?
Actually I do! I have an orange armadillo on my knee. It implements a tracker, so I can be find if I get lost in a storm of snow, but unluckily it works only if I'm a little undressed.
Do you do your own shopping?
Hardly! Usually, I have a crew of shopping experts to compile my grocery list and pass it along to a number of pro buyers scattered around the planet. For the clothes, I ever retain a team of surrogates, one for each body part.
Where did you go on your last holiday?
Last month I rented a posh villa on the secluded hills of Belarus. The payment included a drawbridge to protect my privacy but also a pack of local extras portraying paparazzi.
Where do you go when you die?
In a cemetery, generally. If you are incinerated then your ashes can waste space in a funny box in somebody's cabinet of curiosities.
Nowaday the problem of tennis elbow in jackals is attaining gigantic dimensions. Is Emily Mortimer doing anything in this respect?
Yep! I will chastely sleep in a bunk bed with a supporter one night every two weeks. The profits ($1,400/night) will be donated to a charity for the cure of tennis elbow in jackals.
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