What’s the best sound in the world?
Surely it is the soothing crackle of a bunch of new banknotes touching each other. However, my agent urges you to write instead something more fashionable, for example "the joyous laugh of an exhilarated child " or "the consoling purr of a content kitten".
Which is your secret for perfect skin?
It is a weekly bath in cold tomato soup.
Who were you in your first school play?
I remember it well. It was a play on the life of John Maynard Keynes. I played Tarzan until somebody got smart.
Which super power do you have?
I can hear colors, except if the sun shines. This helped quite a lot at family reunions.
Do you have a favorite flag?
I always liked Krakozhia flag, probably because it has my picture in a corner. Krakozhia is a beautiful but unlucky nation. They are so impoverished they use foodstamps as currency.
Are you aware of the rumors about you and the dog appearing in your last movie?
My my! I'm going to repeat it: I did not have any relation with that dog.
Nowaday the problem of albinism in gnus is attaining epic proportions. Is Emma Thompson doing anything in this respect?
Why not! I will platonically sleep in a bunk bed with a devotee one night a month. The proceeds ($1,200/night) will be granted to an organization for the cure of albinism in gnus.
Where do you go when you die?
It depends. If you have been good, you go to Sydney, if you have been sly, you go to Seattle.
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