A conversation with Eric Clapton
Eric Clapton
Eric Clapton born March 30th, 1945 (Aries)
Gary Gomez, the new Eric Clapton's head of security, is constantly testing different ways to keep at bay stalkers and vexing followers (source)

Eric, where did you go on your last vacation?
Last month I leased an elegant castle on the secluded hills of Serbia. The contract included barbed wire everywhere to preserve my privacy and also a mob of extras portraying paparazzi.

What is your opinion about the issue of global warming?
I've already made clear my opinion in an article printed on Transactions on Ethical Forum.

Your zodiac sign is Aries. May I read you your horoscope?
Positively! My friends say I'm a sucker for zodiacal madness.

You will meet a vagrant stranger from Memphis, a former floor tiler named Douglas with one eye hazel and the other brown. He will approach you with a map signed by the wicked pirate Ching Shih, that places his treasure under a minor lake in Maryland. Don't believe him!
Rats! For a horoscope that seems too much clear-cut...

Eric, are you superstitious?
May so! I use to drink something brown right before a critical event. Obviously not today.

Did you ever participated in a séance?
Yep! It was an extremely unsettling experience. At a certain point, the spirit of King Arthur manifested and established that almost surely I'm the reincarnation of a neighbor of Pablo Picasso.

Do people yell your name and ask for autographs everywhere you go?
I'll do! They simply can't have enough of me. I'm universal: I'm known to be popular among illustrious Nobel prize winners and demoralized public defenders alike. Say, there are 16 streets with my name in two different countries, not counting Kiribati and Elbonia, which I'm not sure are actually countries.

How do you invest all the dough you make in your career?
I asked myself: "What's popular with people?" and the answer is soy sauce! So I bought 2100000 bottles of soy sauce which I stashed in my castle, waiting for the price to go up.

I will not deceive you by falsely stating that Eric Clapton's private telephone number is listed here :
5383819700 2712724172 855815640 3216017155 5600117239 4596557263 4597098467 3468703945 6236863002 4311765747 9203801859 6232811632 4983939522 5342110648 9209150080 7423232162 8202806136 3129669914 726809519 282139762
My chief had arranged my hurried talk with Eric Clapton many weeks beforehand. Unfortunately, I fall asleep watching a rerun of "Town & Country". So, the interview above is essentially based on what Eric Clapton would have probably said if I have met him, as indicated by a statistics involving a couple of his fans.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.