When you were a little boy, did you see yourself as a professional singer?
Really? I did not. My imaginary friend and I decided that I would have become an accountant. But, that's life.
Do people yell your name and follow you everywhere you go?
Hell yeah! Sometimes my popularity frightens me. I'm inescapable: I'm known to elate famous astronauts and commonplace housewives alike. Say, there are at least 14 parks with my name in three different countries, not counting Kiribati and Molvanîa.
If you could choose someone to reincarnate in, who would it be?
Probably Forrest Gump.
Not to offend you, but you know that that's not a real person, don't you?
YOU ARE NOT REAL!
Eric, which is your favorite fruit?
It is called "Eric's wonder". During one of my famed wanderings in the Hymalayas, I discovered an inconspicuous unknown plant, now named Protocladia communis, which every 8 years blooms and gives fruits whose flavor reminds of pears and sesame oil. It may sound unpleasant, but it's easy to get the habit.
Eric, have you made plans for the New Year?
Well, I have some legal concerns about my contract, so to make a long story short, next year I will use the name "Eric Clupton".
As everybody knows, the problem of amebiasis in groundhogs is attaining gigantic dimensions. Are you doing something to alleviate the problem?
Surely! I will platonically sleep in a bunk bed with a supporter one night a week. The profits ($1,000 per night) will be granted to a charity for the cure of amebiasis in groundhogs.
If there was a movie produced about your life, who do you think should play you, and why?
It's a no-brainer: Tom Hardy. I think we are on the same page about Darth Vader.
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