A conversation with Eva Mendes
Eva Mendes
Eva Mendes born March 5th, 1974 (Pisces)
Which is Eva Mendes' trick to obtain perpetual beauty? Strangely enough, it is a scrubbing with fresh unicorn tears twice a month (source)

Don't you think it is time you write an autobiography?
Yes! It is regrettable that I have little time, if any, to put down the words, as we writers like to say. Recently I've read the back cover of the book "The Tell-Tale Heart", and I found it acceptable. Hence, I've ordered my agent to call the author - a certain Edgar Allan Poe - since I need a ghost writer, but for the moment I've not received any answer.

Eva, if I may ask, how do you invest all the dough you make acting?
Remember this, when VHS tapes will be popular again people will stop laughing behind my back.

You appear to be always so positive and vivacios. Do you also have a dark side?
It's hard to admit it, but I do. I think that each one has a dark side. At times, when I look at a colleague, rage darkens my heart and I tremble with hatred. And all of a sudden, I sense an impulse to delete her heckling smile. And then there is my dark side... You do not want to anything to do with it.

Eva, you are always fit. Which is your secret?
I have devised the Blue Diet: during the month of December I eat nothing but blue foods, like blueberries, blue corn, robin's eggs and my special Smurf meat pie.

Your zodiac sign is Pisces. Are you a typical Pisces?
Yep! I'm very amiable, lively, dogged and imperturbable. My friends say that I'm also a bit paradoxical but that I think it is usual in artist.

Do you know Margaret Y. Reyes (a former director of photography, now a deer farmer) from Murfreesboro?
No, I don't, but my cousin has been betrothed to her for 5 weeks. Then there was a public embarrassment about Margaret fooling around with every man aged 18-65, even barely breathing ones, so their engagement came to a quick end.

Could you improvise a lyric for us.
Yep! Here it is

The tiger of grief
The gray tiger of grief
gorges on the dreary plains of emptiness
while I look in the eye my life desolation.
If only it had been the boar of grief
we could have bacon at least.

Do you know the "word association" game? I tell you a word and you say quickly another word. Let me start with :
Q: sun.

Eva : Rambo

Q: sadness
Eva : good

Q: coworkers
Eva : money

I think we are not on the same wavelength

Almost surely none of the following numbers are Eva Mendes' home telephone number :
6094154411 375311601 5221446714 6560498513 4366569672 2825116926 7634834476 6211513555 4795684823 5553719302 9537514177 2792479082 5975773095 7292758232 3397063098 880104147 5950148392 5449763324 217042257 9366382637
Let's face it, celebrities are very frantic people. It's not easy for them to schedule an interview. So we decided to leave Eva Mendes totally alone and obtain the interview above without disturbing her. Therefore, this web page is an an esoteric transcription we obtained thanks to a professional mentalist.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.