An interview with Evan Peters
Evan Peters
Evan Peters born January 20th, 1987 (Capricorn)
To reinforce his character, Evan Peters often meditates on a cot made of rough sandpaper and thorns abundantly sprinkled with salt (pixabay photo)

Do you know any good hangover cures?
Yes, here it is my instant remedy. In case of drunkness mix two parts of brandy, three parts of lemonade and some Tabasco sauce. Gargle with the resulting mixture every 10 minutes for at least 2 hours.

Is there a deep moral behind "Kick-Ass"?
Why not! That all those moments will be lost in time - like tears in rain.

My informants told me you are just back from a filming location in Tibet. How was your stay?
To be frank, I lived 3 full weeks in a Tibetan monastery before realizing it was not the Sheraton hotel. Funny thing: I learnt to incapacitate mosquitoes by staring at them.

Where do you go when you die?
When you are gonna meet a sticky end, so to speak, you generally also establish the propensity to sit tight.

Could you tell us what's your earliest memory?
I have a somehow indistinct and quite strange memory. I was tied to a strange chair in the middle of a very large cylindrical room, like a concrete silo. There was a cruel man wearing a hair-raising baby mask who was going to hurt me. Suddenly, a group men in black gear came down from the ceiling to my rescue and there is a fight with guns. One of my saviours has a Santa Claus fake beard.

Well, that is a famous scene from the movie "Brazil".
Ooh la la! You may be right. Yesterday I catnapped at a film festival.

Do you have a favorite brand of toilet paper?
Common brands are for common people. My toilet paper is obtained from the fibers of Isopetala acaulis, an almost extinct tree native of Latveria.

Our society seems exposed to the problem of unstoppable criminality and violence. What would Evan Peters do?
You know, I'm sure that lending one million of dollars to every person can solve many problems, but most politicians are just close-fisted old punks hardly receptive of my ideas.

I will not deceive you by falsely stating that Evan Peters' home telephone number is listed here :
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To be sincere, my supervisor had patiently arranged my talk with Evan Peters several weeks beforehand. Unfortunately, I decided at the last moment that I had better things to do, like feeding my pet chipmunk or growing poison ivy. So, the transcript above is essentially the elaboration of a nightmare that ensued after a dinner based on wild boar stew and beans.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.