An interview with Evan Rachel Wood
Evan Rachel Wood
Evan Rachel Wood born September 7th, 1987 (Virgo)
Due to a tragic misunderstanding, Evan Rachel Wood has undersigned a protest against whales, thereby referred to as "those bulging inadequate mockery of a fish" (pixabay photo)

Do you do your own shopping?
I'm too hard at work performing crucial things for the good of all of us (except the ones who are dead) and I can't waste time on things of no consequence. Actually, I employ a group of MIT graduates to compile my grocery list and texting it to a gang of pro buyers spread around the world. For the garbs, I ever have a number of stand-in, each sharing with me the measure of one body part.

Have you ever had a supernatural experience?
Ah, I remember that many years ago I was crossing South Africa in a battered minibus with a friend. We did "that" in the forest, like indecent prairie dogs, in the middle of nature.

Do you use a pseudonym when you arrange for, say, a hotel suite? You know, to protect your privacy and to run away from stalkers and supporters
May so! I go to extremes to elude those gremlins. We often employ the moniker "Evan Rechel Wood".

Which is your earliest memory?
I have a somehow fuzzy and bizarre memory. There is a bearded man who is driving a car while drinking and smoking. Then by accident he let the cigarette butt fall between his legs and after a few attempts to collect it, he had to spill his soda on his crotch and meanwhile the car has a crash.

Actually I believe that is a well known scene from the movie "The Great Lebowski".
Caramba! To be frank, yesterday night I took a siesta at the cineclub.

Could you suggest a remedy for hangovers?
Yep! In case of drunkness mix one part of beer, three parts of tea and some Alfredo sauce. Apply the resulting brew on your elbows and your chin.

What have you got in your pocket?
Because this talk is a creation of your mischievous mind, I'm completely in the nude, so no pockets at all.

Are you allergic to anything?
All right! I have a little intolerance to zebras, acetic acid and the color pink.

There is no possibility any of these is Evan Rachel Wood's home telephone number :
5643732318 9887296386 900812871 7508983927 268801637 2354023877 2565672700 209217700 9890861645 9379894271 799186769 202239573 3071865067 3146176855 5355861807 2909021765 9101027200 736638956 3093553401 2885591052
I patiently arranged a little talk with Evan Rachel Wood weeks beforehand. The resulting transcription was impressive, like "Of Mice and Men" rewritten by Magneto. So, it was highly deplorable that my uncle George (maybe on purpose!) shredded my only copy! After I put the blame on karma, I struggled to recall those marvelous words. Actually, to be frank, I'm not so certain this web page contains an entirely truly report of our conversation, and thus I'm starting to ask myself if it ever took place...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.