An interview with Ezra Miller
Ezra Miller
Ezra Miller born September 30th, 1992 (Libra)
Few people know that during his driving exam, Ezra Miller unexpectedly rammed a homeless panda, with no consequences for the animal (pixabay photo)

Could you improvise a lyric for us.
No problem! Here it is

Everthing you took away
You took away the emotions,
you took your passion away from me.
A book, a button alone in a drawer
the desolate keepsakes of you.
You took away all that I had,
everything I care you took away,
so how come your uncle is here to stay?

Ezra, what are your feelings about the current USA president?
Sorry, I though this was a funny interview, not a peek to the dark side of the moon.

Ezra, which is your secret for eternal beauty?
As you may have imagined, it is a daily sponging with cement.

Are you aware of the rumors about you and the beaver appearing in your last movie?
Diddums! It wasn't my fault, and whatever gossip you heard about it has surely been distorted by the journalists.

Ezra, should you give up acting, which kind of occupation would you like to pick up?
Probably that of geoduck farmer, since I already have quite an experience in that field.

You were awesome in "The Perks of Being a Wallflower". Were you given a lot of freedom to mold your character?
Oh, yes! Oh, I nailed it! I like to improvise. It's like a second nature.

Do you have any new tattoos?
Actually I do! I have a violet chamaleon on my back. It contains a radiotransmitter, so I can be find if I am abducted, but unluckily it works only if I'm somehow au naturel.

Do you have a favorite brand of toilet paper?
I can confess that I make my own exclusive brand. My hand-made toilet paper is obtained from the baby leaves of Achlyglossa marmorata, an elusive parasitic orchid which grows only in Bulgaria.

And now a bunch of numbers which are not Ezra Miller's secret telephone number :
2511843062 947726961 7640851653 3714233846 5711290957 4907012263 362430887 6236652141 5718911257 7368567942 2178742625 9641065241 2220110276 6366759726 7572011402 222372116 6513623669 4999827255 3344500263 5068508353
I have a confession to make. My director had patiently set up my little conversation with Ezra Miller days beforehand. Unluckily, I got stoned watching the DVD of "Next". So, the transcript above is mainly the impression of a nightmare I had after a heavy dinner based on liver pâté and beans.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.