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A talk with Famke Janssen
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Famke Janssen
Famke Janssen born November 5th, 1964 (Scorpio)
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A well known clinic in Indiana is currently using Famke Janssen's fans as subjects in an experiment on sleep deprivation (source)

I'm here today with a special guest, Famke Janssen, who just made her way through her last movie. Hi, Famke, and welcome to All My Celebrities.
Good morning to you, and thank you for inviting me.

Could you improvise a lyric for us.
Yep! Here it is

Everthing you took away
You took away your love,
you took the respect away from me.
A book, a pen alone in a drawer
my only memories of you.
You took yourself away from me,
all that matters you took away,
so how come your cousin is here to stay?

Are you aware of the rumors about you and the gazelle appearing in your last movie?
My behavior was strictly professional.

Which brand of toilet paper do you use?
Since I have embraced natural products, I can't wipe my funny parts with industrial brands anymore. My personal toilet paper is obtained from Meiocisa blattaria, an elusive green rose that only grows in Mongolia.

Who are your heroes?
Joseph (the imaginary cousin of Francis Crick), HAL 9000, and myself.

Could you tell us something about your future project?
Yes. I'm on the set of the remake of "Freddy Got Fingered", an underestimated classic whose importance has not been fully perceived by the public.

Do you do your own shopping?
No way! Actually, I hire a squad of Stanford graduates to compile my grocery list and texting it to a gang of pro buyers distributed around the globe. For the garbs, always a critical issue, I ever employ a team of doubles, each sharing with me the measure of one body part.

If I may say so, Famke, you are also well known for your bizarre demands when staying in hotels. Could you tell us why and maybe make an example of something you may ask?
Famke needs what Famke needs, and she generally gets it. Whether it's orphaned baby panda's tears or mammoth jerky.

There is no possibility any of these is Famke Janssen's secret telephone number :
8998715707 2798455807 4033034721 4732813233 997130579 9012488129 4951084206 3621694764 8060393985 4832852911 7224363227 4606605944 204125035 8705077621 849265577 9920365761 8467528479 9339289086 3162471228 2288333986
I patiently waited for several years before being able to have a short talk with Famke Janssen. The resulting transcription was impressive, like "The Chronicles of Narnia" rewritten by Harry Potter. It was highly unfavorable, to put it mildly, that my neighbor (probably on purpose!) shredded my only copy! After I buried the body (so to speak), I struggled to remember those excellent words. To be aboveboard, I'm not one hundred percent confident this web page contains an entirely accurate account of what transpired during our meeting, and now I'm beginning to ask myself if it ever took place...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.