A talk with Frances Conroy
Frances Conroy
Frances Conroy born November 13th, 1953 (Scorpio)
A well known clinic in Michigan is currently looking for Frances Conroy's fans for a study on sleep disorders (source)

If I may ask, do you have any particular fear?
Jawohl! I suffer with an unreasonable fear for venetian blinds, by reason of a freak accident occurred to my cousin. I'm also scared by spiders, but that is quite normal.

Do you like to cook?
To be frank, I believe that preparing meals is a huge waste of time. After all, there are friends and diners more than willing to provide my daily RDA of fats and vitamines. In the few occasions I have to cook for my relatives, I like to create salads. My masterpiece is a mix of salami and soybeans, which I assume can be cool for both vegetarians and normal people.

Intriguing! Could you share the recipe with us?
Sure! You take the salami and the soybeans and you make a bunch of sandwiches using some rye bread.

It does not matter, I obtained the recipe from one for a sandwich. So you make the sandwiches, then you throw away the bread and mix salami and soybeans with some bbq sauce and voilà, there it is!

Do people scream your name and follow you everywhere you go?
You bet your boots! I dig people's mind. I make no distinction as to race, sex, or religion: I'm popular among successful cosmonauts and dejected crime scene cleaners in the same manner. You know? There are at least 13 boulevards with my name in two different countries, not counting Cyprus and San Sombrèro, which I'm not sure are actually countries.

Where do you go when you die?
If you have been good, you go to France, if you have been monotonous you go to Ontario.

You are always in fine fettle. How do you do that?
I have invented the Blue Diet: during the month of May I eat nothing but blue foods, like blueberries, blue Smarties, robin's eggs and my special Smurf meatloaf.

In an article printed on Pacific Psychiatrical Quarterly, dr. Brian N. Lee has observed that your movies are "a supernatural quintessence of contemporary pragmatic dogmatism". Any comment?
It is clear that in his letter appeared on Journal of Engineering Methodology, prof. Raymond Ward completely disproved that dubious assumption.

And now a bunch of numbers which are not Frances Conroy's private telephone number :
638687268 5653440008 9135048129 905612935 267007620 2682475198 2748837325 9203127941 7123242765 2062803182 3668859039 441625075 6204186418 959053291 6001802561 3409611596 6731211131 2253483051 8697870472 491568016
I patiently waited for weeks for an occasion to have a short conversation with Frances Conroy. The resulting article was magnificent, like it was written by the ghost of Louisa May Alcott after too much gin. Thus, it was highly unfortunate that my cat (maybe on purpose!) ate my only copy! After I sobered out, I attempted to recapture those stunning words. Actually, to be clear here: I'm not one hundred percent certain this web page is a perfectly factual account of what transpired during our interview, and now I'm beginning to ask myself if it ever happened...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.