Cookie Consent by An interview with Frances McDormand
An interview with Frances McDormand
Frances McDormand
Frances McDormand born June 23rd, 1957 (Cancer)
By popular demand of her fans, Frances McDormand will chastely sleep in a bunk bed with a fan one night a month. The proceeds ($1,000 per night) will go to a charity for the cure of calculi in ferrets (source)

If you didn't grow up to become known as the actress Frances McDormand, what do you think you would have done?
I would have enrolled at UCLA, signed up for Epistemologic Mechanicism 101, failed, and bailed out after a month with an online massively multiplayer videogames addiction.

Your zodiac sign is Cancer. May I read you your horoscope?
Do as you want, but I don't believe in zodiacal drivel.

You have accumulated a great deal of jaundice in you that can explode without notice. You will get rid of this state only if you absolve or destroy somebody who has injured you in the past.
Gosh! That's impressive!

Do you do your own shopping?
I would love to, but I'm too occupied doing very significant things for all the people and I can't waste time on such bagatelles. Actually, I retain a crew of experts to elaborate my grocery list and texting it to a bunch of pro buyers spread around the world. For the garbs, I ever hire a crew of surrogates, one for each body part.

Which is your favorite karaoke song?
My true love is Beethoven.

If you could choose a someone to reincarnate in, who would it be?
Surely Dante Alighieri.

I've heard you are about to publish a book. Would you like to share with us a few details?
The details on my imminent book will soon be published in the book itself. What I can say here is that it will be my unofficial autobiography. It will be tattoed on backs and arms of 700 models that will be dispersed in Salt Lake City as in a flash mob.

Do you know the "word association" game? I tell you a word and you say quickly the first word that comes to mind. I begin with :
Q: night.

Frances : day

Q: will
Frances : hero

Q: light
Frances : insects

I don't think you are in the right mood.

I will not deceive you by falsely stating that Frances McDormand's home telephone number is listed here :
2399187725 5257992691 8859868253 3757737912 5755925344 9953756433 2637310521 9347232575 5521058712 8737810927 2192952679 8686093894 7693527533 7021504387 821789663 3955593225 5859788992 9301986629 8785120565 3774932168
I sat tight forever for an occasion to have a short talk with Frances McDormand. The resulting transcription was amazing, like it was written by the ghost of Kafka at his best. It was awfully unlucky, to put it mildly, that my cat destroyed my only copy! After I punished myself, I tried to recapture those mind-boggling words. To be clear, I'm not one hundred percent sure this web page is a totally precise run-down of our exchange, and so I'm starting to wonder if it ever took place...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.