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A talk with Frank Grillo
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Frank Grillo
Frank Grillo born June 8th, 1963 (Gemini)
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In his mansion in France, quite near that owned by Bono, Frank Grillo is producing his own red wine, whose name, by an unluckly coincidence, sounds like an appalling obscenity in Scottish (pixabay photo)

We are here tonight with Frank Grillo, who just saw the birth of his last movie. Hi, Frank, and welcome to Useless Factoids.
I say it was about time you people invited me. I saw Kate Perry the other night and, honestly, I did not like it a bit.

What do you think of global warming?
I've expressed my thoughts in an essay that will soon appear on Journal of Theological Issues.

Could you tell us something about your ongoing project?
Yep. I'm on the set of the sequel of "Soul Plane", a gem whose importance has not been fully recognized by viewers.

Do people scream your name and applaud everywhere you go?
Applesauce! The mass loves me so much. I make no distinction as to gender or occupation: I'm known to brighten famed emperors and demoralized bookkeepers alike. It's nice to hear that there are at least 15 plazas with my name in three different countries, not counting Elbonia and Belarus, which I did not know they were countries.

Are you allergic to anything?
Yes, mainly to chipmunk tears (please, don't ask!), toluene and rainbows.

Can you tell me the square root of 174963136?
Are you joking? Even a half-witted ferret can answer that, provided it has gained a thumb and an abacus.

Do you know any good hangover cures?
Yes, in case of need mix two parts of cider, one part of lemonade and some margarine. Apply the resulting concoction on your feet and your back.

Who were you in your first school play?
I remember it well. It was a play on the life of Samuel Johnson. I played Aquaman until somebody got smart.

Here is a list of numbers I have already excluded from being Frank Grillo's home telephone number :
9604379468 6856232173 3713960471 3429912366 318564916 4087693778 659904709 2978808790 9321788409 2054311372 2573171096 8351991490 6896345697 422989203 7010916428 8260739425 4577484724 4461420914 2857424836 3010064497
I patiently dawdled for several years for a chance to have a hurried appointment with Frank Grillo. The resulting article was great, like "War and Peace" rewritten by the Lone Ranger. Hence, it was highly deplorable that my cousin Douglas set my only copy on fire! After I showed vital signs again, I tried to summon up those wondrous words. Actually, to be clear, I'm not one hundred percent confident this web page is an entirely truthful report of our conversation, and now I'm starting to question whether it actually took place...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.