An interview with Garcelle Beauvais
Garcelle Beauvais
Garcelle Beauvais born November 26th, 1966 (Sagittarius)
Garcelle Beauvais' attempt to launch her fragrance pour homme spiced with chili essence has been an epic catastrophe (pixabay photo)

If you didn't grow up to become known as the actress Garcelle Beauvais, what do you think you would have done?
I would have enrolled at the University of Oxford, signed up for Engineering Epistemology 101, failed, and bailed out after a year with a drinking addiction.

You have been seen in an embarassing location with a vip whose name I'm not at liberty to tell. Do you care to comment?
If you mean C.Z., then it was a platonic thing. I deny any other "situation", expecially one with W.E...

I may have a photo.
You know, I think the photo is just an impression...

An impression? I do not understand.
You know, just an impression. Like when you have the impression everything is perfectly fine in your little life and then without a motive your office and your parents catch fire. Do you understand?

Let's forget about that fake picture...
If there was a movie produced about your life, who do you think should play you, and why?

According to my agent, Jennifer Connelly, since I always liked her as Dr. Hannibal Lecter.

Who are your heroes?
Columbus, Keyser Soze, and myself.

Do you know Karen Reyes (a former industrial engineer, now a watch repairer) from Chesapeake?
No, I don't, but my uncle has been married to her for 3 weeks. Then there was a public embarrassment about some licentious photographs sent by phone to the wrong people, so their marriage came to an abrupt end.

Garcelle Beauvais refused to divulge her private telephone number, but here is a list of random numbers you can dream about :
5373093549 3890754918 744106563 3132756146 8076810121 6632208605 3675392036 411160597 4644955735 401210591 3843945804 9965082524 7181404282 3327207597 4572344321 6824002644 6896269200 279268003 3918645315 5793881211
Let's face it, actors are busy people. It's difficult for them to fix an interview. So we decided to leave Garcelle Beauvais peacefully alone and to obtain the interview above without disturbing her. Hence, this web page is an an algorithmic transcription we obtained thanks to a computer simulation of Garcelle.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.