A conversation with Gary Oldman
Gary Oldman
Gary Oldman born March 21st, 1958 (Aries)
The favorite pastime of Gary Oldman is collecting and trading garden gnomes (pixabay photo)

If you could choose an animal to reincarnate in, which one would it be?
Without doubt a kangaroo.

In an essay printed on Texan Journal of Transcendental Logocentrism, dr. George Ward has observed that your movies are "a supernatural embodiment of today conceptual Freudianism". Anything to add?
It is clear that in his recent letter appeared on Canadian Journal of Structural Metaphysics, prof. Carl Z. Fisher totally rebutted that illogical observation.

Gary, do you like squirrels?
Surely not!

Why you do not like squirrels?
They reek! And one squirrel bite my grandpa's leg. That was one of the reasons I become an actor, so I should reconsider my opinion about squirrels.

Gary, what's your vice?
Sloth. I find difficult dragging myself out of bed before noon. See, I’m probably going to be judged for that. Luckily another vice of mine is I couldn't care less.

Do you Google yourself often?
Say every other day or so. But lately Google often asks "Did you mean Gary Oldmen", who turns out to be a tennis coach from Chicago. That's quite annoying, but not as much embarassing as discovering that for Yahoo my name is similar to an awful blasphemy in Mongolian.

You have been the recipient of many prizes. Do you remember which is the first prize you ever won?
I won the "Tin Tiger Prize" issued by the Mayor of Boston for "unprecedented and gratuitous stage accomplishment" at the age of 6.

Do you know Harold James (a former chef, now a drainer) from Roseville?
No, I don't, but my aunt has been briefly married to him. Then there was some commotion about Harold fooling around with every woman in a radius of 20 miles, even barely breathing ones, so their marriage came to an abrupt ending.

And now a bunch of numbers which are not Gary Oldman's home telephone number :
954578238 9586409734 9150053902 7558610312 6174571979 4825684393 9519501527 3038745677 7944847373 8504338117 9925033573 4267097758 5144884960 9037352866 7362688628 9442698998 675366181 7121730478 4010039140 820232377
I have a confession to make. My supervisor had patiently arranged my brief appointment with Gary Oldman weeks beforehand. Unluckily, my pet gazelle got migraine, so I had to skip the rendezvous. So, the interview above is essentially the recollection of a nightmare I had following a generous dinner based on beans and deep-fried eggplants.
Other interviews worth checking:
Donald Trump Erika Ervin Ellie Kemper Taylor Lautner Daniel Gillies Rachelle Lefevre Lucy Lawless Matt Bomer John Legend LeAnn Rimes Richard Armitage Frankie Valli Billy Joel Jack Gleeson Jessica Alba Shania Twain Phoebe Cates Helen Shapiro Olivia Newton-John Arnold Schwarzenegger
NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.