Do you do your own shopping?
I don't believe so! I hire a gang of experts to compile my grocery list and texting it to a crew of pro buyers around the planet. For the clothes, I ever have a bunch of doubles, each sharing with me one body part measure.
Indiana Jones, Lara Croft or Professor Layton?
I don't know, I liked all of their movies.
Could you corroborate the buzz about your role in the shady incident of Sasquatch pictures?
Could I? Yeah! Do I want? Do you think i've lost my mind!
Does your assistant use a pseudonym when he books a limo? You know, to protect your privacy and to dodge groupies and paparazzi
Absolutely! We'll do whatever is necessary to run away from those hooligans. We usually use the moniker "Gary Oldmin".
On a scale of one to ten, how popular are you?
I'm not sure. Probably, I'm a four in Seattle, but a seven in Iceland.
Do you have any new tattoos?
Yep! I have a black zebra on my ankle. It implements a tracker, so I can be retrieved if I am kidnapped, but unluckily it works only if I'm a little au naturel.
Which brand of toilet paper do you use?
I can confess that I make my own exclusive brand. My personal toilet paper is obtained from Xerospana cataracta, an elusive blue rose that only grows in Nepal.
In an article appeared on Texan Journal of Theoretical Psychiatry, dr. Harold N. Russell described your movies as "a tragic embodiment of newfangled symbolic irrationalism". Anything to add?
I think that in his recent essay printed on Journal of Structural Experientialism, prof. Larry Bennett totally refuted that dubious point of view.
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