A conversation with Gary Oldman
Gary Oldman
Gary Oldman born March 21st, 1958 (Aries)
A well known clinic in Florida is presently using Gary Oldman's fans as subjects in an experiment on nightmares induction (source)

Gary, what's your favorite vice?
I love videogaming so much, that I can play for hours. Probably you are going to chastise me for that. Fortunately another vice of mine is not giving a damn.

What's your earliest memory?
I have a clear memory of the moment I was born. You know, it was a day in March. An almost perfect spring day, fragrant of flowers and glossy buds. And I was there, covered from head to toe with blood, in a room full of people howling like banshees, moving around like crashtest dummies. The first, but not the best day of my life...

You make me feel lucky.
That's nothing, my life is like a dive in a lake of lava. And still you envy it.

Can you rebut the hearsay about the theft of the Mongolian death worm pictures?
Could I? Yep! Do I want? Like heck!

Do you have a favorite brand of toilet paper?
I can proudly confess that I make my own brand. My personal toilet paper is obtained from the fibers of Calophila adunca, an almost extinct bulb native of Shangri-La.

Apart from acting, what one thing do you do exceptionally well?
Actually, I do a great impression of a beaver, mostly for kids or everybody willing to pay a pile of notes for the performance.

Have you ever participated in a séance?
Yep, just once. It was a very excruciating experience. Suddenly, the ghost of Michelangelo appeared and hypothesized that I'm probably the reincarnation of a Frank Lloyd Wright's uncle.

If happiness were an animal, what would it be?
Probably a cow. A big, fat, tranquil cow, replete and sleepy in a summer breeze.

Gary Oldman refused to share his private telephone number, but here is a list of random numbers you can dream about :
7652915887 4760257990 9112586945 5367655822 6645950380 6197877127 2215032000 4160102864 4405987964 4243697603 201496754 2775219800 206192025 220716077 5871079027 3668615506 6596770896 7139069368 4729065870 4977559504
Vips are frantic people. It's difficult for them to fix an interview. So we decided to leave Gary Oldman alone and we obtained the interview above without his help. Therefore, this web page is an a cybernetic transcription we obtained thanks to a computer simulation of Gary.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.