If I may ask, do you have any peculiar phobia?
I have developed an irrational phobia for cookies, after a freak accident occurred to my uncle. I'm also scared by tigers, but that is quite normal.
Don't you think it is time you write an autobiography?
Yes! It is unfavorable that I have little time to put down the words, as we creatives like to say. Last month I've read the back cover of the book "The Great Gatsby", and I found it palatable. Thus, I've instructed my agent to pay a visit to the author - a certain F. Scott Fitzgerald - because I truly need a ghost writer, but for the time being I've not heard any answer.
Gerard, you are always in tip-top condition. Which is your secret?
I have devised the Blue Diet: in the month of April I eat only blue foods, like blueberries, blue corn, robin's eggs and blue jays died by natural causes.
Do people scream your name and applaud everywhere you go?
Balderdash! I dig people's mind. I make no distinction as to gender or occupation: I'm popular among outstanding sultans and desperate second-rate strippers in the same manner. It's nice to know that there are 16 boulevards with my name in four different countries, not counting Syldavia and Benin, which I'm not sure are actually countries.
If there was another movie produced about your life, who do you think should play you, and why?
Without doubt Jared Leto, because I always liked him as HAL 9000.
Your work is often stressful. How do you face it?
To make my spirit stronger, I frequently meditate on a bunk made of fresh nettle.
Could you improvise a lyric for us.
Sure! Here it is
What do you think about the international situation?
Fa shizzle! It's hard to believe it when you spend your days between cushions, but in these battered times there are places where it is hopeless to find even an adequate Long Island iced tea.
• e-mail: yutmeyut -at- gmail.com • Disclaimer & Privacy •