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A talk with Gwen Stefani
Gwen Stefani
Gwen Stefani born October 3rd, 1969 (Libra)
Gwen Stefani has been unhappy with the true situation and appliances of the extra-gorgeous spa she carelessly picked out from the catalog of the "Dust Bite Travels" tour operator (pixabay photo)

If you didn't grow up to become known as the singer Gwen Stefani, what do you think you would have done?
I probably would have become a professional "Freespace 2" player.

If happiness were an animal, what would it be?
I figure a wombat. A large, fat, peaceful wombat, full and heavy-eyed in a summer breeze.

Have you made plans for the New Year?
One of my most firm new year resolutions is to obtain soon a license for operating my hovercraft.

One of your most famous works, "Let Me Blow Ya Mind", is a beloved anthem of hatred. Does it also have a more deep meaning?
Yes, it's also my inspiring song for when I have to visit my parents.

Your zodiac sign is Libra. May I read you your horoscope?
OK, but I'm a bit partial regarding zodiacal foolishness.

You will feel deserted by your friends, like an intangible screen is between you and them. A disquieting whisper in your head will tell you that they are secretly dreaming to kill you.
Crickety! If I did believe in this zodiacal gibberish, now I would be crying like a baby.

Nowaday the problem of irritable bowel syndrome in hedgehogs is reaching epic proportions. Is Gwen Stefani doing anything in this respect?
Why not! I will platonically sleep in a bunk bed with a fan one night a month. The profits ($1,100/night) will be donated to a charity for the cure of irritable bowel syndrome in hedgehogs.

How famous are you, on a scale of one to ten?
I forgot the statistics. I think I'm a one in Tibet, but a six in Denver.

After extensive reserch I concluded the following list doesn't contain Gwen Stefani's private telephone number :
2993250850 3213807460 9541032834 5256311834 7341410861 8608951631 4699006971 5150560103 4889555593 3403457122 9159636031 2280641549 6404926337 8913870868 927392970 9852978808 3763733794 8513252195 5401077020 3477467400
I queued up forever for the privilege to have a short talk with Gwen Stefani. The resulting piece was jaw-dropping, like "All Quiet on the Western Front" rewritten by Flash Gordon. Thus, it was unfavorable that another inmate (probably on purpose!) devoured my only copy! After I recounted my vitals, I made an attempt to extract from my fading neurons those magnificent words. Actually, to be clear, I'm not one hundred percent certain this web page is a perfectly accurate report of our talk, and I'm starting to doubt it ever happened...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.