A conversation with Gwyneth Paltrow
Gwyneth Paltrow
Gwyneth Paltrow born September 27th, 1972 (Libra)
In her underground grotto Gwyneth Paltrow is patiently searching a way to turn industrial sewage into parmisan cheese (pixabay photo)

I've heard you are writing a book. Would you like to share with us a few details?
The details on my forthcoming book will soon be printed in the book itself. What I can say here is that it will be my unofficial autobiography, a long awaited work soon to be released in montly instalments.

What's the most uncanny dream that you remember?
I dreamed being rebuked by the ghost of Frank Lloyd Wright. In the meantime I kept yelling "I did not sell my aunt's gazelle".

Can you share with us a memory of your role in "Iron Man 3"?
Frick! The set was full of ants. They were coming outta the goddamn walls!.

Which is your favorite book?
I'm absolutely enthusiastic about "The Old Man and the Sea" by Ernest Highway.

You mean, by Ernest Hemingway?
I doubt it, however I've heard it both ways.

Could you suggest a remedy for warts?
Sure, here it is my instant treatment for warts. Mix two parts of tequila, one part of mineral water and some Tabasco sauce. Put this elixir on your chin and your wrists.

Do you do your own shopping?
N-n-n-o-o-o! I hire a crew of specialists to elaborate my grocery list and pass it along to a bunch of pro buyers distributed around the planet. For the garnments, I ever retain a crew of stand-in, one for each body part.

Can you tell me the square root of 546727144?
No, numbers with so many digits could only be telephone numbers, or my revenues, not real numbers.

I will not deceive you by falsely stating that Gwyneth Paltrow's home telephone number is listed here :
8107434176 7527883365 9317133807 543342905 4025081213 4208662427 4196120050 5322803313 2890830471 2951187511 8690107496 773027296 9961152764 3665080852 8134644223 5329732671 8409901318 5824128444 4634274224 6314459524
Clearly, actors are very over-booked people. It's not easy for them to find the time for an interview. So we decided to leave Gwyneth Paltrow alone and we obtained the interview above without her help. Therefore, this web page is an an algorithmic transcription we obtained from a computer we initialized with all the available info about Gwyneth.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.