An interview with Haley Joel Osment
Haley Joel Osment
Haley Joel Osment born April 10th, 1988 (Aries)
During an uncanny séance, the Ouija board has established that Haley Joel Osment is the reincarnation of an Abraham Lincoln's homonym

We are here today with a special guest, Haley Joel Osment, who just saw the birth of his last movie. Hi, Haley, and welcome to Celebrities Are Better Than You.
Good morning to you, and thank you for calling me.

I've heard you are writing a book. Would you like to share with us a few details?
The details on my imminent book will soon be printed in another book. What I can say here is that it will be my unofficial autobiography, a monumental work soon to be released in montly instalments.

Can you tell me the square root of 972761835?
I've no doubts that the answer is 16.

If I may ask, do you have any particular phobia?
Yes, I do! I suffer with an unreasonable phobia for the color purple, due to a strange accident occurred to my uncle. I'm also scared by crocodiles, but that is quite common.

Do you have issues with movie directors?
I do not have any issue with directors: it is not difficult when you do not listen to them.

Haley, what’s your worst defect?
Some say that I have a propensity to go around with little things behind my ear, like a pencil or a sausage.

Haley, you have been seen in a compromising location with a vip whose name I've not the permission to make public. Care to comment?
I deny any "situation", expecially one with K.A..

I may have a photo.
Well, I think the photo is just an impression...

An impression? I do not understand.
Well, just an impression. Like when you got the impression just everything is totally OK in your little life and then without a motive your partner and your office blow up. Are we clear now?

I think you are right, this is probably a picture of my pet hare with a wig...

After extensive reserch I concluded the following list doesn't contain Haley Joel Osment's private telephone number :
2176132052 6601296646 2136626888 3832271458 8659604211 472091744 6609398237 526882747 451128845 510992269 5990312748 216108784 281554392 917750103 3916146989 9494237002 782833364 4537895441 2104116258 2196081342
My chief had patiently lined up my appointment with Haley Joel Osment weeks beforehand. Regrettably, I decided at the last moment that I had better things to do, like growing parasitic plants or visiting Canada. So, this web page is mainly based on what Haley Joel Osment would have probably said if I have met him, as suggested by a telephonic poll involving a couple of random people.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.