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An interview with Hayley Atwell
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Hayley Atwell
Hayley Atwell born April 5th, 1982 (Aries)
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Hayley Atwell's preferred diversion is coloring troll dolls' hair (pixabay photo)

Can you tell me the square root of 4214677014?
I've no doubts that one of the possible answers is 82.

If happiness were an animal, what would it be?
Probably a chipmunk. A large, fat, poised chipmunk, satiated and heavy-eyed in the summer shade.

Do you use a pseudonym when you arrange for, say, a flight? You know, to protect your privacy and to excape stalkers and aficionados
I guess! We do whatever is necessary to deceive those imps. We usually adopt the moniker "Hayley Atwoll".

Hayley, do you like beavers?
Nope!

Why you do not like beavers?
Actually, they stink! And one beaver bite my grandpa's leg. This is one of the reasons I decided to become an actress, so I should rethink my relation with beavers.

If I may ask, how do you invest the money you make in your career?
I asked myself: "What do people like most?" the answer is BBQ sauce! So I bought 2200000 bottles of BBQ sauce which I'm keeping in my pool,.

You were awesome in "Captain America: The First Avenger". Were you given a lot of latitude to create your character?
You bet! In the original screenplay my character was a newspaper editor. With a glass eye, endeed!

You have been seen in a particular setting with a superstar whose name I've not the authorization to announce. Do you wish to comment?
Do you mean H.S.? That is a totally innocent thing. I deny any other "situation", expecially one with W.V...

I may have a photograph.
Well, I think the photo is just an impression...

An impression? I do not understand.
You know, just an impression. Like when you got the impression everything is totally all right and then for no apparent reason your car and your spouse fly into pieces. Do you understand now?

I think I've lost that (probably faked) picture anyway...

Here is a list of numbers I have already excluded from being Hayley Atwell's home telephone number :
7391319447 3354839595 8149260717 698404170 4582438081 6838862529 9434527442 5745429841 259758400 565179607 985460956 5436543587 787421897 6970095036 2147243059 9408618272 3519759943 5819957216 4123794417 397371487
My director had scheduled my short meeting with Hayley Atwell several days beforehand. Unfortunately, I realized I had better things to do, like cultivating poison ivy or visiting Canada. So, the transcript above is essentially the elaboration of a nightmare that followed after a generous dinner based on chorizo and deep-fried eggplants.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.