Cookie Consent by An interview with Hayley Atwell
An interview with Hayley Atwell
Hayley Atwell
Hayley Atwell born April 5th, 1982 (Aries)
In a passing moment of stupor, Hayley Atwell has signed an appeal against baby pandas (pixabay photo)

Which is your favorite snack?
Peaches with tahini, a pasta noodle, four pasta noodles, and some sparkling wine.

If there was a movie produced about your life, who do you think should play you, and why?
Margot Robbie, since we were in the same book club when we had more time on our hands.

Do people scream your name and ask for autographs everywhere you go?
Yeah! I dig people's mind. I make no distinction as to race, sex, or religion: I charm affluent heirs and crestfallen second-rate strippers alike. Say, there are 12 boulevards with my name in three different countries, not counting Equestria and Kiribati.

Hayley, what is your take of the future Oscar debate?
Frankly, this has always been a hot potato.

You have been the recipient of uncountable prizes. Can you tell us which is the first prize you ever won?
At the early age of 7, I won the "Titanium Fox Prize" assigned by the municipality of Milwaukee for "phenomenal and gratuitous stage exhibition".

If happiness were an animal, what would it be?
Surely a gnu. A large, fat, tranquil gnu, sated and somnolent in the summer shade.

An imaginary character you think to as a part of your life?
As a poll suggests, Punxsutawney Phil, because of our shared moral standings. We both breed little hedgehogs.

Do you do your own shopping?
I'm so hard at work performing crucial things for the good of all of us (except the ones who are dead) to care about such trivialities. I pay a team of specialists to elaborate my grocery list and e-mail it to a crew of professional buyers around the planet. For the clothes, which are always critical, I ever have a gang of doubles, one for each body part.

Almost surely none of the following numbers are Hayley Atwell's private telephone number :
861455134 6869126913 9701849609 5717761662 3337574863 897666540 4039024309 8525403332 584460252 9450943013 638143057 6689854574 6851892332 4017329121 9639750075 651193403 7125050601 6258801381 3796576650 6565507509
To be honest, my supervisor had patiently set up my interview with Hayley Atwell several weeks beforehand. Unluckily, I realized I had more interesting things to do, like collecting doorknobs or feeding my pet fox. So, the transcript above is essentially the impression of a dream that ensued after a dinner based on deep-fried Mars bars and beans.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.