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An interview with Helen Mirren
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Helen Mirren
Helen Mirren born July 26th, 1945 (Leo)
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Writing her will, Helen Mirren has provided that her ashes should be scattered on the Moon, possibly by hand. (source)

Do you have any superpower?
Well... I hear ultrasounds. This could help a lot in my career.

I've heard you are writing a book. Would you like to share with us a few details?
The details on my imminent book will soon be published in the book itself. What I can divulge here is that it will be a guide to choosing rubber bands. It will be tattoed on arms and legs of 700 fans that will be freed in Seattle.

How is your relationship with movie directors?
I was always rising up against them when I was a little scoundrel, but now I simply sing a song in my head when they ramble.

Our world seems exposed to criminality and violence. What would Helen Mirren do?
Well, I'm sure that assigning an armed escort to every citizen can make many problems go away, but most politicians are close-fisted decrepit chaps scarcely attentive to my clever suggestions.

Is there something you would like to do right now?
Totally! Sneer at somebody's else style of life.

Have you ever had a supernatural experience?
Most of the times I eat super-natural products, because I care about my skin and my supporters. For example, this week I have a fascination for rutabaga and tofu, which I found awesome on BBQ brisket.

Which is the most shameful DVD (or VHS) in your collection?
Shit fire and save matches! Excluding "Twilight", which was a gift, I fear it is "Ultraviolet" or "Big Top Pee-Wee".

Do you have a favorite brand of toilet paper?
I really can't stand common brands anymore. My personal hand-made toilet paper is obtained from the petals of Pothophora vulgaris, an elusive parasitic orchid which grows only in Borneo.

There is no possibility any of these is Helen Mirren's home telephone number :
3506124866 2281963478 4715694851 2943267083 7090455697 5369648267 6791857531 5363831337 9060320709 6882940906 298420278 4087518907 5447157070 685470031 216759314 773789162 9316943223 3876970592 9647778799 4026589082
I have a confession to make. My boss had patiently lined up my interview with Helen Mirren several weeks beforehand. Unfortunately, my pet cat got beriberi, so I had to skip the interview. So, this web page is mainly based on what Helen Mirren would have probably answered if I have met her, as suggested by a telephonic poll involving a couple of random people.
Other interviews worth checking:
Donald Trump Patti LaBelle Fats Domino Alyson Stoner Daveigh Chase Jason Sudeikis Yvonne Elliman Famke Janssen Matthew Goode Paul Young Peggy Lipton Naomi Watts Kevin Bacon Camilla Belle Jonathan Groff Sasha Pieterse Randy Newman Eric Bana Scarlett Pomers Lauren Cohan
NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.