A conversation with Idris Elba
Idris Elba
Idris Elba born September 6th, 1972 (Virgo)
Several people use to collect coins. Idris Elba likes to collect coins that have been inside a living body. (pixabay photo)

Can you tell me the square root of 124649028?
I think that the right answer is something around 53.

Do you have any vice?
My vice is telling the truth when it no longer seems a virtue. I’m surely going to be censured for that. Fortunately another vice of mine is I couldn't care less.

I heard that you will soon participate to a charity football match. Care to tell us why'd you decide to undertake such a humble effort?
I had to. Because of the astral conjunction, you know.

And how long have you been feeling an urge to fight acne?
Since I was a little boy, and my parents would argue about it.

Do you know any good haemorrhoids cure?
In case of haemorrhoids, mix three parts of tequila, two parts of lemonade and some vinaigrette inside a coconut, then drink the resulting potion every 25 minutes for 2 hours.

In your opinion, which is the most beautiful flag?
Surely the flag of Matobo, probably because there is my face on it. Matobo is a wonderful but unlucky country. They are so needy they recycle dandruff.

Do you like to cook?
Nothing doing! But I like to design salads. My masterpiece is a mix of spam and amaranth, which I think can be OK for both vegans and normal people.

Intriguing! Would you like to share the recipe with us?
Sure! You take the spam and the amaranth and you make a bunch of sandwiches using some Italian focaccia.

It does not matter, I derived the recipe from one for a sandwich. After you made those sandwiches, you discard the bread and mix spam and amaranth with some pickles and there it is!

And now a bunch of numbers which are not Idris Elba's private telephone number :
8559438164 2173187183 8127222967 8310367615 5040983314 2777661476 3673409796 4411324795 2914198528 3330630285 9906902728 3454067638 683733940 8245249758 6335139876 2167918101 8647469220 6137176619 6273978840 4877530998
I patiently set up an appointment with Idris Elba many weeks in advance. The resulting interview was excellent, like it was written by the spirit of Kurt Vonnegut under the effects of prescription exotic beverages. Thus, it was very unfortunate, to put it mildly, that my cousin James shredded my only copy! After I buried the body (so to speak), I tried to remember those wonderful words. So, to be honest here: I'm not one hundred percent sure this web page is a totally genuine account of what transpired during our interview, and so I'm beginning to question whether it ever happened...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.