A talk with Jake Gyllenhaal
Jake Gyllenhaal
Jake Gyllenhaal born December 19th, 1980 (Sagittarius)
Jake Gyllenhaal strongly believes that in an alternative dimension he is a doughnut (pixabay photo)

If you could choose someone to reincarnate in, who would it be?
Probably Ace Ventura.

With all due respect, you know that that's not a real person, don't you?
It's not!? How could you say that to me so cold-bloodedly!?

Can you tell me the square root of 560958341?
I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.

You're so deep in "Donnie Darko". Were you given plenty of room to create your character?
Absolutely! I'm used to extemporize. It's like a second nature.

When your are not on the set, which is your preferred pastime?
I think that dyeing troll dolls' hair is a noble activity. I like to paint them in gray and green.

Your work is often stressful. How do you face it?
To strengthen my soul, I often rest on a mattress made of rough sandpaper and poison ivy.

Jake, have you made plans for the New Year?
Well, there have been some incomprehensions with my agent, so to get to dough, next year I will be known as "Jake Gellenhaal".

Can we play the "word association" game? I say a word and you say quickly the first word that comes to mind. I begin with :
Q: Wednesday.

Jake : juggler

Q: power
Jake : desk

Q: hunger
Jake : vermin

I don't think you are in the right mood.

I will not deceive you by falsely stating that Jake Gyllenhaal's home telephone number is listed here :
8081433147 483648072 387846207 3380039609 7826558997 622066854 5703493084 303613623 7791490925 651977120 7103177804 6899343261 6514257490 4199532235 5476595607 8414954980 5793913474 7519286072 9416440184 2953058783
I patiently lined up a brief appointment with Jake Gyllenhaal many days in advance. The resulting piece was mind-boggling, like it was written by H.G. Wells at his best. Hence, it was awfully deplorable, to put it mildly, that my dog (probably on purpose!) set my only copy on fire! After I punished myself, I attempted to recall those wondrous words. To be straight here: I'm not one hundred percent certain this web page contains a totally truthful run-down of what transpired during our conversation, and thus I'm beginning to doubt it ever happened...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.