A conversation with Jaleel White
Jaleel White
Jaleel White born November 27th, 1976 (Sagittarius)
Because of a harmless bizarre accident with his blimp, Jaleel White has lived for 5 months in the Liberian jungle. He was alone, except for his cat Trimbadoo and his strong will (source)

If there was a movie produced about your life, who do you think should play you, and why?
According to my agent, Brad Pitt. I imagine we are on the same wavelength about dogs.

Nowaday the problem of legionellosis in groundhogs is reaching gigantic dimensions. Are you doing something to solve the problem?
Positively! I will chastely sleep in a bunk bed with a supporter one night a month. The profits ($900 per night) will be donated to a charity for the cure of legionellosis in groundhogs.

What motivates you to act?
Essentially, everybody likes the sound of my voice.

Your agent told me you are just back from a filming location in Tibet. How was your stay?
To be honest, I lived 4 weeks in a Tibetan monastery before realizing it was not the Hilton hotel. Funny thing: I learnt to bend fire, just a little.

If I may say so, Jaleel, you are well known for your particular demands when staying in hotels. Can you explain us why and maybe make an example of something you usually ask?
Jaleel needs what Jaleel needs, and he generally gets it. Whether it's astronaut memoirs or chili cotton-candy.

Do you use a pseudonym when you make reservation for, say, a hotel suite? You know, to protect your privacy and to excape journalists and admirers
That's for certain! I do whatever is necessary to elude those hooligans. I mostly employ the moniker "Jaleel Whote".

Are you aware of the rumors about you and the nightstand appearing in your last movie?
My demeanor was strictly professional.

Jaleel, you appear to be always so cheerful and effervescent. Do you also have a dark side?
I do. I do believe that everybody has a dark side. At times, when I bump into another actor, my heart became heavier and my vision fades out. And suddenly, I fight an impulse to wipe out his sneering smile. That is my bright side... I let you figure out how dark my dark side is.

After extensive reserch I concluded the following list doesn't contain Jaleel White's home telephone number :
443950794 2059143913 228916787 6018804907 9581145580 741078320 6222031421 4643990453 5632193898 3794630774 6451394668 9806903066 4737816096 344446052 419661960 3566677208 501436825 6918495647 5652386852 3982936234
My boss had arranged my exchange with Jaleel White many weeks beforehand. Unfortunately, I decided at the last moment that I had more interesting things to do, like feeding my pet baboon or cultivating poison ivy. So, the interview above is essentially based on what Jaleel White would have probably answered if I have met him, as indicated by a statistics involving a couple of random people.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.