Do people yell your name and follow you everywhere you go?
Of course! They simply can't have enough of me. I really make no distinction: I'm known to enchant famed cosmonauts and undistinguished rodent exterminators alike. It's nice to hear that there are at least 12 plazas with my statue in four different countries, not counting Latvia and Naboombu, which I did not know they were countries.
James, you are always so strapping. Which is your secret?
I have invented the Blue Diet: in the month of August I eat only blue foods, like blueberries, robin's eggs, blue potatoes and my special Smurf hash.
As everybody knows, the problem of osteoporosis in gazelles is reaching gigantic proportions. Are you doing something to solve the problem?
Yes! I will chastely sleep in a bunk bed with a supporter one night a month. The profits ($1,200/night) will be granted to a foundation for the cure of osteoporosis in gazelles.
What's the strangest dream you remember?
Not really a dream: I found myself in an empty dim place. A rotten smell lingering in the air. Then I remembered I got befuddled at a screening of "Exorcist II: The Heretic" in a seedy drive-in near Seattle.
Is there something you would like to do right now?
Sure. Sneer at somebody's else style of life.
James, have you made plans for the New Year?
Well, I have some legal concerns regarding my contract, so to simplify things I need to change my name, and next year I will be compelled to use the name "James McAvuy".
Which is your favorite book?
I've a soft spot for "The Chronicles of Narnia" by Jerry Lewis.
You mean, by C.S. Lewis?
I doubt it, anyway we can agree to disagree.
• e-mail: yutmeyut -at- gmail.com • Disclaimer & Privacy •