When you were a little boy, did you see acting as your profession?
Actually, no. My imaginary friend and I decided that I would have become a bartender. But, you know, that's life.
A well-known person you think to as similar to you in spirit?
Many, but expecially Louis XVI of France, because of our awesomeness.
If happiness were an animal, what would it be?
In my dreams it is a gazelle. A big, fat, peaceful gazelle, full and somnolent in the summer shade.
Can you deny the gossip about your participation in the rogue affair of Jersey Devil pictures?
Thou, venomed boil-brained fustilarian! How do you dare?
Is there a deep meaning hidden in your "Django Unchained"?
You bet your boots! That all those moments will be lost in time - like tears in rain.
Where do you go when you die?
30 feet under, generally. If you are incinerated then your ashes can freckle a dull place.
Are you aware of the rumors about you and the ocelot appearing in your last movie?
Shite! My conduct was totally professional.
You are always in fine fettle. Which is your secret?
I have devised the Blue Diet: in November I eat just blue foods, like blueberries, blue corn, blue Smarties and blue jays died by natural causes.
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