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An interview with Jane Seymour
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Jane Seymour
Jane Seymour born February 15th, 1951 (Aquarius)
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Jane Seymour has started a petition for the reintroduction of the Mayan calendar (source)

Jane, have you made resolutions for the New Year?
Well, there are some legal problems about my contract, so to make a boring story short, next year I will be known as "Jane Saymour".

Don't you think it is time you write a book on your life?
Aye! It is unlucky that I have so little time to write. Last month I've read the condensed summary of the book "The Grapes of Wrath", and I found it more or less palatable. Hence, I've asked my agent to pay a visit to the author - a certain John Steinbeck - since I really need a ghost writer, but for the moment I've not heard any answer.

Could you authenticate the rumours about your role in the flimsy crisis of Bigfoot pictures?
Truth is easily broken and so are you and your destiny, my friend...

Jane, should you give up acting, which career would you like to pick up?
Almost surely that of demolition worker. I already have quite an experience in that field.

You appear to be always so vivacios and joyful. Do you also have a dark side?
It's hard to confess it, but I do. Everyone has a dark side. For example, when I bump into another actress, my sight blurs and my teeth rattle with fury. And all of a sudden, I fight an impulse to seal forever those ogling eyes. That is my cheerful side... I let you discover, if you want, how my dark side is.

What’s the best sound in the world?
Almost surely it is the placid jangle of two emeralds caressing each other. But please, write instead something more mainstream, for example "the effervescent giggle of an innocent kid " or "the first word of your child".

Could you suggest a remedy for hangovers?
Yep! In case of need mix two parts of gin, one part of instant coffee and some lemon juice. Drink the resulting potion every 25 minutes for at least 3 hours.

If there was a movie produced about your life, who do you think should play you, and why?
Without doubt Zoe Saldana, because we are on the same wavelength about Gollum.

There is no possibility any of these is Jane Seymour's secret telephone number :
7786111410 7871608705 5533170423 6797115836 2702265229 8550932630 8290824263 2337061748 4592184952 8599431480 7307670959 3535283748 670443836 9946103519 8208395898 9824278448 8011882555 3630231933 480941305 9601501855
My supervisor had planned my hurried conversation with Jane Seymour months beforehand. Regrettably, I decided at the last moment that I had more interesting things to do, like collecting feathers or visiting Canada. So, the interview above is mainly based on what Jane Seymour would have probably said if I have met her, as indicated by a telephonic poll involving a couple of her fans.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.