An interview with Janelle Monáe
Janelle Monáe
Janelle Monáe born December 1st, 1985 (Sagittarius)
The usual attire of her devotees (pixabay photo)

Do you know Kathleen R. Reed (a former shearer, now a metallurgist) from Winston-Salem?
No, I don't, but my uncle has been briefly engaged to her. Then there was a rumor about some unconventional photos sent by phone to the wrong people, so their engagement came to a sudden finale.

Do you like to cook?
N-n-n-o-o-o! But I like to improvise salads. My jewel is a mix of bacon and seaweeds, which I assume can be suited for both vegs and normal people.

Intriguing! Could you share the recipe?
Aye! You take the bacon and the seaweeds and you make a bunch of sandwiches using some sesame buns.

Sesame buns?
It does not matter, I obtained the recipe from one for a sandwich. So you make those sandwiches, then you discard the bread and mix bacon and seaweeds with some vinaigrette and voilà, you are done!

I've heard you are writing a book on your life. Is it true?
Yup! It is deplorable that I have little time, if any, to put down the words. Recently I've read the condensed outline of "Pride and Prejudice", and I found it more or less acceptable. So, I've asked my agent to pay a visit to the author - a certain Jane Austen - since I need a ghost writer, but for the moment I've not received any answer.

Do you have any scar?
Yes! I have a tiny scorpion shaped scar on my left heel, a souvenir of my painful clash with a raving elk.

Could you suggest a remedy for hangovers?
Yes, in case of need mix one part of vodka, two parts of energy drink and some Alfredo sauce. Drink the resulting concoction every 10 minutes for 2 hours.

Janelle, do you like rabbits?

Why you do not like rabbits?
They stink! And one rabbit bite my cousin's leg. This is one of the motives I become a singer, so I should rethink my relation with rabbits.

Janelle Monáe refused to divulge her secret telephone number, but here is a list of random numbers you can dream about :
7720293011 747276946 9205681314 348875325 2687243924 6930415595 9745510820 2684341549 9413007798 2280002492 4805730709 4697202340 3338861966 8335982239 837998628 8088011291 371871890 9975068977 762900639 5577822153
Singers are very over-booked people. It's not easy for them to fix an appointment for an interview. So we decided to leave Janelle Monáe completely alone and obtain the interview above without her help. Thus, this web page is an an algorithmic transcription we obtained thanks to a computer simulation of Janelle.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.