A conversation with Janet Jackson
Janet Jackson
Janet Jackson born May 16th, 1966 (Taurus)
Due to a fatal mix-up, Janet Jackson has undersigned a protest against dolphins (pixabay photo)

Your zodiac sign is Taurus. May I read you your horoscope?
As you want, but I'm a bit partial regarding zodiacal absurdity.

You will meet an intoxicated stranger from Los Angeles, a florist named James with a pear peel in his right pocket. He will talk about a map allegedly signed by the vicious pirate Edward "Blackbeard" Teach, that places his gold under a minor lake in Colorado. Don't follow him home!
Nice one! Incredible, what do you have -- a time machine?

Could you suggest a remedy for hangovers?
Yes, in case of need mix three parts of red wine, one part of ground coffee and some butter. Drink the resulting elixir every 20 minutes for at least 2 hours.

Janet, have you made plans for the New Year?
Well, there are some legal troubles about my last contract, so to simplify things I will be forced to change my name, and next year I will use the name "Janet Jeckson".

Could you tell us what's your earliest memory?
Only few people know that I have the blessing of total recall. Indeed, I have a clear memory of the moment I was born. It was a night in May. An almost magic spring night, fragrant of flowers and glossy buds. And amidst all the beauty, I was there, soaked from head to toe with blood and other bodily fluids, in a room full of screaming people, moving around like wingless flies. The first, but not the best day of my life...

You make me cry...
Who gives a damn rat? My whole existence is like a stroll into a gory blender.

What do you think about the international situation?
It's hard to realized it when you spend your days among piles of dough pampered by willing servants, but on our torn planet there are countries where it is hopeless to find even a just decent hamburger.

In your opinion, which is the most beautiful flag?
I always liked Vulgaria flag. If I'm not mistaken, it is violet and red with a little orange armadillo in a corner.

Janet Jackson refused to divulge her secret telephone number, but here is a list of random numbers you can dream about :
744373421 2794919505 368643659 9728060457 7051405472 7947380173 8484198889 3013824081 5521559410 685807471 882657823 617652943 8268123464 8417111772 4149278762 6815472396 8009367180 5807392975 8991850618 5938404059
My short talk with Janet Jackson has been patiently arranged weeks beforehand. The resulting interview was mind-boggling, like "The Hobbit" rewritten by Silver Surfer. Thus, it was highly disastrous that my ferret by accident destroyed my only copy! After I dissimulated devastating emotions, I attempted to recapture those wondrous words. So, to be aboveboard, I'm not one hundred percent certain this web page is a totally precise report of our interview, and so I'm starting to question whether it actually was real...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.