Your zodiac sign is Taurus. May I read you your horoscope?
As you want, but I'm a bit partial regarding zodiacal absurdity.
You will meet an intoxicated stranger from Los Angeles, a florist named James with a pear peel in his right pocket. He will talk about a map allegedly signed by the vicious pirate Edward "Blackbeard" Teach, that places his gold under a minor lake in Colorado. Don't follow him home!
Nice one! Incredible, what do you have -- a time machine?
Could you suggest a remedy for hangovers?
Yes, in case of need mix three parts of red wine, one part of ground coffee and some butter. Drink the resulting elixir every 20 minutes for at least 2 hours.
Janet, have you made plans for the New Year?
Well, there are some legal troubles about my last contract, so to simplify things I will be forced to change my name, and next year I will use the name "Janet Jeckson".
Could you tell us what's your earliest memory?
Only few people know that I have the blessing of total recall. Indeed, I have a clear memory of the moment I was born. It was a night in May. An almost magic spring night, fragrant of flowers and glossy buds. And amidst all the beauty, I was there, soaked from head to toe with blood and other bodily fluids, in a room full of screaming people, moving around like wingless flies. The first, but not the best day of my life...
You make me cry...
Who gives a damn rat? My whole existence is like a stroll into a gory blender.
What do you think about the international situation?
It's hard to realized it when you spend your days among piles of dough pampered by willing servants, but on our torn planet there are countries where it is hopeless to find even a just decent hamburger.
In your opinion, which is the most beautiful flag?
I always liked Vulgaria flag. If I'm not mistaken, it is violet and red with a little orange armadillo in a corner.
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