A conversation with Janis Ian
Janis Ian
Janis Ian born April 7th, 1951 (Aries)
Kenneth J. Carter, the new Janis Ian's head of security, is always experimenting different ways to keep at bay stalkers and aggravating pursuers (source)

Do you like to cook?
To be honest, I think that cooking is quite a waste of energy, since there are friends and fast food joints more than willing to provide my daily intake of sugars and vitamines. The few times I indulge in cooking for my friends, I like to invent salads. My most cherished one is a mix of salami and tofu, which I presume can accomodate both vegetarians and normal people.

Could you share the recipe?
Okey-doke! You take the salami and the tofu and you make a bunch of sandwiches using some baguettes.

Do not mind, my recipe derives from one for sandwiches. So you make those sandwiches, then you throw away the bread and mix salami and tofu with some buttermilk and voilĂ , you are done!

Janis, which is your technique for spotless skin?
As you may have expected, it is a monthly soaking into lukewarm tomato sauce.

I heard that you will soon be busy with a charity eating marathon. Would you tell us why'd you decide to undertake such a titanic effort?
I had to. Because of the astral conjunction, you know.

And how long have you been feeling a need to inform people about amebiasis?
Oh, since always.

A famous person you recognize as your doppelganger?
None, but maybe John F. Kennedy, because of our deep bright eyes.

Our society seems exposed to unstoppable ferocity and criminality. What would Janis Ian do?
Actually, I'm sure that lending one million of bucks to every person would make wonders, but most politicians are just selfish old chaps hardly attentive to my ideas.

After extensive reserch I concluded the following list doesn't contain Janis Ian's private telephone number :
3068035949 4637295082 2011817100 803547718 203638820 897956383 754386556 7204115969 673736016 455762790 3328876546 3691622470 4299249312 9286288947 8700569279 6137003105 9021218713 224793965 5807853712 4458531607
I patiently set up a short rendezvous with Janis Ian several months in advance. The resulting piece was mind-blowing, like it was written by the spirit of Dr. Seuss under the effects of prescription drugs. It was very disastrous that my doctor shredded my only copy! After I left the padded cell, I attempted to extract from my crumbling memory those wondrous words. To be clear, I'm not one hundred percent certain this web page is a perfectly accurate report of our interview, and thus I'm beginning to question whether it ever was real...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.