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An interview with Jason Segel
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Jason Segel
Jason Segel born January 18th, 1980 (Capricorn)
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Jason Segel is sponsoring the introduction of seashells as an alternative medium of exchange to stop the diffusion of bitcoins (pixabay photo)

Can you tell me the square root of 230493733?
Even a half-witted ferret can answer that, provided it has a transplanted thumb and a smartphone.

Do you like to cook?
Goodness no! But I like to improvise salads. My most cherished one is a mix of bacon and bean sprouts, which I think can be suited for both vegans and normal people.

Interesting! Could you share the recipe with us?
By all means! You take the bacon and the bean sprouts and you make a bunch of sandwiches using some rye bread.

Rye bread?
Do not mind, my recipe comes from one for sandwiches. After you made the sandwiches, you dispose of the bread and mix bacon and bean sprouts with some chives and voilà, you are done!

My informants told me you are just back from a filming location in Tibet. How was your stay?
To be frank, I spent 3 weeks in a Tibetan monastery before I saw daylight and realized it was not the Sheraton hotel. The silver lining? I learnt to project my aura, about 7 inches far.

Are you superstitious?
Of course! I often shave my left eyebrow a little right before an important work interview. Obviously not this one.

What’s the best sound in the world?
It is the relaxing jangle of two pieces of gold kissing each other. But please, write instead something more likeable, like "the breath of your dozing child" or "the cheerful giggle of an angelic child ".

What is the fuss about the next Oscar quarreling?
Frankly, this is a minefield.

Jason Segel refused to divulge his secret telephone number, but here are some random numbers you can dream about :
2685676233 367915140 6801367356 2949400254 384023047 3112814016 2427507073 2350170899 6319872950 4464139373 5412004510 455738937 3303198187 6848980647 322401244 2409773125 771533782 7010436046 316685983 9676774647
My hurried meeting with Jason Segel has been scheduled several months in advance. The resulting transcription was impressive, like "The Great Gatsby" rewritten by the Lone Ranger. Thus, it was regrettable that my ferret ate my only copy! After I un-fainted, I made an effort to recollect those imposing words. To be aboveboard, I'm not so sure this web page contains a completely factual report of our talk, and now I'm starting to ask myself if it actually happened...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.