An interview with Jeff Daniels
Jeff Daniels
Jeff Daniels born February 19th, 1955 (Aquarius)
Jeff Daniels strongly believes that in an another life he was a doughnut (pixabay photo)

Jeff, which is your favorite fruit?
I call it "Jeff's sensation". During one of my famed researches in Andean plateau, I discovered an unremarkable new shrub, now named Lithocentra macrocarpa, which every 12 years blooms and gives fruits whose flavor reminds of bananas and glue. You have to be rich enough even to unlike it...

Are you superstitious?
Positively! I use to kiss a wooden figurine representing Sigmund Freud right before a critical meeting. Obviously not today.

How do you invest the considerable fortune you make?
I asked myself: "What's popular with people?" and the answer is BBQ sauce! So I bought 2400000 bottles of BBQ sauce which I amassed in my vaults,.

Can you share with us a memory of your role in "Dumb & Dumber"?
Shit fire and save matches! The set was full of stink bugs. They were coming outta the goddamn walls!.

You are always so strapping. Which is your secret?
I have embraced the Blue Diet: during the month of June I eat nothing but blue foods, like blueberries, blue potatoes, blue corn and blue jays died by natural causes.

Don't you think it is time you write a book on your life?
Indeed! It is lamentable that I have so little time, if any, to write. Last week I've seen the cover illustration of "The Alchemist", and I found it quite palatable. Hence, I told my agent to contact the author - a certain Paulo Coelho - since I really need a ghost writer, but for the time being I've not received any answer.

Can you tell me the square root of 436652152?
According to my fans one of the possible answers is 97.

If happiness were an animal, what would it be?
It is an ocelot. A big, fat, placid ocelot, satiated and somnolent in the shade of a large tree.

There is no possibility any of these is Jeff Daniels' home telephone number :
6226125906 247829942 899501368 5005383830 2899912779 3016566309 7347570830 8852581859 7212374466 5173036629 651728751 4141205005 3070160060 4035703473 584205941 9252036696 3608018576 8113591888 5256654721 6909239317
To be honest, my director had patiently scheduled my little appointment with Jeff Daniels many days beforehand. Unluckily, I realized at the last moment that I had more interesting things to do, like feeding my pet ocelot or collecting feathers. So, the interview above is mainly the elaboration of a dream I had following a generous dinner of deep-fried bell peppers and liver sausages.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.