A talk with Jeff Daniels
Jeff Daniels
Jeff Daniels born February 19th, 1955 (Aquarius)
During an unsettling séance, Jeff Daniels was temporarily converted into a mild-mannered goat (pixabay photo)

You seem to be always so sunny and effervescent. Do you also have a dark side?
It's difficult to confess it, but I do. I truly believe that everyone has two sides. Sometimes, when I meet another artist, my teeth chatter with fury and my vision fades out. And then, without warning, I experience the need to kill his jeering smug look. That is my sunny side... I let you figure out how my dark side is.

I've heard you are about to publish a book. Would you like to share with us a few details?
The actual details on my imminent book will soon be printed in another book. What I can divulge here is that it will be a guide to choosing dental floss, a long awaited work soon to be released in montly instalments.

Which is your favorite snack?
Pizzas with Alfredo sauce, a grapefruit, three nectarines, and a bit of beer.

Can you tell us what is the first award you ever won?
At the age of 5, I won the "Golden Anteater Medal" issued by the Mayor of San Francisco for "memorable yet unrequested stage achievement".

Could you tell us the plot of your next movie?
Of course! The working title of the film is "William, Elizabeth and Teepino". There are a man and a woman, which live in Milwaukee and they do not know each other. William is a counsellor while Elizabeth is a NSA agent. When Elizabeth's pet bear Teepino got malaria they meet at the vet and fall in love. Then they begin a spiritual journey to search for Polyranda excelsa (a rare tree growing in Israel only), whose flowers can cure Teepino.

If you could choose someone to reincarnate in, who would it be?
Surely Yoda.

You know that that's not a real person, don't you?
It's not!? How could you say that to me so cold-bloodedly!?

Jeff, can you share with us a memory of your role in "Dumb & Dumber"?
Humph! They do not put together a cast like that anymore! There are a lot of valid motives for that...

Here is a list of numbers I have already excluded from being Jeff Daniels' secret telephone number :
2270934253 7506961050 4615869404 2792563131 6194427240 4840523735 4562563260 9064013018 2052155520 5969679206 5871296427 2151738192 9919030146 6872940309 9392436751 775736032 4218315337 479098909 4257646632 6097888016
I have a confession to make. My boss had planned my short rendezvous with Jeff Daniels several weeks beforehand. Regrettably, I realized at the last moment that I had more interesting things to do, like visiting Canada or growing parasitic plants. So, the transcript above is essentially the elaboration of a dream that ensued after a dinner based on cabbage stew and deep-fried eggplants.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.