We are here tonight with a special guest, Jennifer Aniston, who just made her way through her last movie. Hi, Jennifer, and welcome to Celebrities Are Better Than You.
I say it was about time you people invited me. I saw Jessica Simpson the other night and, honestly, I did not like it.
Jennifer, you are also well known for your singular requests when staying in hotels. Is it true? Could you tell us why and maybe make an example of something you usually ask?
Lately I've found that I can't stay anywhere without industrially-made cheddar cheese or astronaut memoirs delivered everyday to my suite.
Jennifer, what is your opinion about the current USA president?
I promised my niece I would not imprecate again, so I'd pretend I did not understand your question.
Jennifer, do you like anteaters?
I sure don't!
Why you do not like anteaters?
To be frank, they stink! And one anteater bite my grandpa's private parts. That was one of the reasons I decided to become an actress, so I may probably reconsider my position on anteaters.
Which is your favorite book?
I'm very fond of "The Lord of the Rings" by J.R. Token.
You surely mean, by J.R.R. Tolkien?
I doubt it, in any case I've heard it both ways.
Jennifer, if I may ask, how do you invest the money you make?
If you want to become rich fast, I can organize a meeting with some guys from Serbia who can double your stake. Seriously, if something goes awry you'll become an organ donor on the spot.
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