A conversation with Jennifer Aniston
Jennifer Aniston
Jennifer Aniston born February 11th, 1969 (Aquarius)
A renowned research center in Nebraska is presently using Jennifer Aniston's fans as subjects in an experiment on sleep disorders (source)

Can you tell me the square root of 293712905?
I could tell you, but then I'd have to execute you.

When you were a little girl, did you see acting as a possible career?
Sadly no, and I still dream that, one day, the Los Angeles Times will accept my commentaries.

Do you have any new tattoos?
Yes! I have a black ferret on my forearm. It implements a tracker, so I can be retrieved if I am kidnapped, but unluckily it works only if I'm slightly au naturel.

Jennifer, how do you invest all the dough you made in your career?
I can't divulge the details, but I can tell this: when CD walkmen will be fashionable again I will have my revenge.

Do you have issues with movie directors?
Directors have a tendency to become sickening if you contradict them, so I just pay no heed to their blabbing.

I heard you are just back from a filming location in Tibet. How was your stay?
To be honest, I lived 3 weeks in a Tibetan monastery before realizing it was not the Best Western hotel. On the bright side, I learnt to bilocate, for a couple of seconds.

Do you know any good hangover cures?
Yes! In case of need mix two parts of fernet, one part of mineral water and some vinaigrette. Apply the resulting potion on your knees and your tongue.

An imaginary character you think to as an imaginary friend?
None, but maybe Sigmund Freud, because of our innate coolness. We both love little gnus.

There is no possibility any of these is Jennifer Aniston's private telephone number :
598711934 722417215 6298527828 9831789724 7780629395 6453908980 5690080787 4528683429 9339951551 2653813264 677515700 498230749 209923929 6047934079 667988117 871022639 2244803346 443280571 9824180454 826584550
Let's face it, actors are busy people. It's not easy for them to schedule an interview. So we decided to leave Jennifer Aniston peacefully alone and obtain the interview above without her help. Thus, this web page is an a cybernetic transcription we obtained via a computer simulation of Jennifer.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.