A conversation with Jennifer Connelly
Jennifer Connelly
Jennifer Connelly born December 12th, 1970 (Sagittarius)
During an excruciating ritual, a medium has conjectured that Jennifer Connelly is the reincarnation of a neighbor of Oliver Cromwell (source)

Do you do your own shopping?
I would love to, but I'm too busy doing paramount things and I can't care about such trivialities. I hire a bunch of shopping experts to compile my grocery list and e-mail it to a group of pro buyers spread around the world. For the clothes, which are always critical, I ever pay a gang of doubles, one for each body part.

If you didn't grow up to become known as the actress Jennifer Connelly, what do you think you would have done?
I would have enrolled at Purdue University, signed up for Botanical Robotics 101, failed, and bailed out a year after that with a gambling addiction.

Jennifer, what is your opinion about global warming?
I have the proofs that this alleged global warming is an abominable conspiracy of Aerugo's spies.

What's the most uncanny nightmare you remember?
I dreamed being castigated by a James I of England impersonator. I kept yelling "I did not paint my uncle's monkey".

What do you think about the international situation?
Sacre bleu! I think it is quite brutal, since there are countries where it is impossible to find even a just tolerable cheeseburger with or without mustard.

Do you have a favorite brand of toilet paper?
Since I have embraced ecology, I really can't stand common brands. My hand-made toilet paper is obtained from Hexasella amphibia, a rare black rose that only grows in Tibet.

Jennifer, where will you go on your next holiday?
For next summer I rented an elegant manor on the secretive hills of Eriador. The only difficulty was finding a way to make a transfer in bitcoins to the genial landlord from Nigeria that proposed me the business in the interweb.

Jennifer, should you give up acting, which kind of occupation would you choose?
Probably that of lightning rod installer, since I already have some experience in that field.

I will not deceive you by falsely stating that Jennifer Connelly's home telephone number is listed here :
8820707717 7499004682 4523514765 9578904104 5965193710 9687950814 8425444085 878165321 2937954233 4455699963 7944822137 5015982478 9257923416 3826386623 6497013094 867102767 268543371 3260063712 260902453 7417095371
I patiently sat tight forever for the privilege to have a short rendezvous with Jennifer Connelly. The resulting transcription was wonderful, like it was written by the ghost of John Steinbeck after too much whiskey. Thus, it was very damaging that my koala (on purpose!) destroyed my only copy! After I came out from stupor, I tried to remember those mind-boggling words. To be aboveboard here: I'm not really certain this web page is a totally accurate run-down of what transpired during our meeting, and now I'm starting to ask myself if it actually happened...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.