I've heard you are writing a book on your life. Is it true?
Positively! It is lamentable that I have so little time, if any, to put down the words. Last month I've read the summary of the condensed version of "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo", and I found it more or less palatable. Therefore, I told my agent to call the author - a certain Stieg Larsson - because I really need a ghost writer, but for the moment I've not heard any news.
Do you do your own shopping?
I would love to, but I'm so hard-pressed doing crucial things for the planet that I can't care about matters of little consequence. Actually, I pay a number of shopping specialists to compile my grocery list and texting it to a gang of professional buyers around the world. For the clothes, always a critical issue, I ever have a crew of stand-in, each sharing with me one body part measure.
If you could choose someone to reincarnate in, who would it be?
It's a no-brainer! Bilbo Baggins.
With all due respect, you know that that's not a real person, right?
I think I'm gonna cry now.
Who were you in your first school play?
It was rather embarassing. It was a play on the life of Leonardo da Vinci. I played one of his neighbors.
Do you know any good common cold cure?
Okey-doke! In case of common cold, mix two parts of scotch, three parts of tea and some ketchup. Put the resulting brew on your feet and your back.
What is the strangest nightmare that you remember?
Not actually a dream: I was alone in a barren dim place. A fetid flavor in my mouth. Then I remembered I got wasted at a rerun of "Jonah Hex" in a shabby movie house near Boston.
What would you like to do right now?
Buy a fake torture chamber for my castle.
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