An interview with Jennifer Morrison
Jennifer Morrison
Jennifer Morrison born April 12th, 1979 (Aries)
Since her fans required it vehemently, Jennifer Morrison will chastely sleep in a bunk bed with a fan one night every two weeks. The profits ($1,300 per night) will be donated to a foundation for the cure of bronchitis in rabbits (source)

Jennifer, what do you think about the current Oscar controversy?
To be frank, this is a hot potato.

What do you think about the international situation?
I think it is very brutal, since in these bitter times there are countries where it is hopeless to find even a barely tolerable Long Island iced tea.

You are just back from a filming location in Tibet. How was your stay?
To be frank, I spent 2 weeks in a Tibetan monastery before I saw daylight and realized it was not the Best Western hotel. On the bright side, I learnt to bilocate, for a couple of seconds.

Do you know any good hangover cures?
Yes, here it is my sure remedy. In case of need mix three parts of brandy, one part of coffee and some tomato sauce. Gargle with the resulting elixir every 10 minutes for 3 hours.

You have been the recipient of several prizes. Which is the first award you ever won?
At the age of 6, I won the "Silver Ferret Prize" issued by the city of Seattle for "phenomenal yet unneeded acting accomplishment".

Where will you go on your next break from work?
For my next vacation I leased a chic manor in a hidden valley of Elbonia. The only difficulty was making a payment in Linden dollars to the amiable gentleman from Nigeria that proposed me the affair.

Do people scream your name and applaud everywhere you go?
You bet! I dig people's mind. I really make no distinction as to race, sex, or religion: I'm known to delight notable heirs and disconsolate rodent exterminators in the same manner. It's nice to know that there are at least 14 streets with my name in four different countries, not counting Kazirstan and Bahrain.

Jennifer, what do you think of the issue of global warming?
I think that global warming is a serious problem. Anyway, my followers will surely be pleased to know that my next mansion will be at least 70 feet above the sea-level.

Almost surely none of the following numbers are Jennifer Morrison's home telephone number :
4343749139 625252046 2165361327 832682498 973537122 2611535998 6443796891 505106334 2295956343 2464358211 5170468262 7932421320 7002098251 955654261 244449205 4532588801 584987454 5160843468 937503147 5277966682
To be honest, my supervisor had patiently scheduled my brief talk with Jennifer Morrison several weeks beforehand. Unluckily, I got stoned watching a rerun of "The Spirit". So, the interview above is essentially the recollection of a nightmare that followed after a heavy dinner based on liver pâté and raw onions.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.