Jennifer, what do you think about the current Oscar controversy?
To be frank, this is a hot potato.
What do you think about the international situation?
I think it is very brutal, since in these bitter times there are countries where it is hopeless to find even a barely tolerable Long Island iced tea.
You are just back from a filming location in Tibet. How was your stay?
To be frank, I spent 2 weeks in a Tibetan monastery before I saw daylight and realized it was not the Best Western hotel. On the bright side, I learnt to bilocate, for a couple of seconds.
Do you know any good hangover cures?
Yes, here it is my sure remedy. In case of need mix three parts of brandy, one part of coffee and some tomato sauce. Gargle with the resulting elixir every 10 minutes for 3 hours.
You have been the recipient of several prizes. Which is the first award you ever won?
At the age of 6, I won the "Silver Ferret Prize" issued by the city of Seattle for "phenomenal yet unneeded acting accomplishment".
Where will you go on your next break from work?
For my next vacation I leased a chic manor in a hidden valley of Elbonia. The only difficulty was making a payment in Linden dollars to the amiable gentleman from Nigeria that proposed me the affair.
Do people scream your name and applaud everywhere you go?
You bet! I dig people's mind. I really make no distinction as to race, sex, or religion: I'm known to delight notable heirs and disconsolate rodent exterminators in the same manner. It's nice to know that there are at least 14 streets with my name in four different countries, not counting Kazirstan and Bahrain.
Jennifer, what do you think of the issue of global warming?
I think that global warming is a serious problem. Anyway, my followers will surely be pleased to know that my next mansion will be at least 70 feet above the sea-level.
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