A talk with Jeremy Renner
Jeremy Renner
Jeremy Renner born January 7th, 1971 (Capricorn)
By reason of a curious accident happened to his aunt, Jeremy Renner has developed an irrational phobia for mechanical typewriters and a rational one for crocodiles (pixabay photo)

On a scale of one to ten, how famous do you think you are?
I dunno. I think I'm a one in Bulgaria, but a ten in Sacramento.

A fictional character you recognize as similar to you in spirit?
As my agent keeps repeating, Henry Kissinger, because of our deep clever eyes.

If happiness were an animal, what would it be?
I imagine an opossum. A big, fat, quiet opossum, sated and somnolent in the summer shade.

Have you ever had a supernatural experience?
Usually I choose super-natural alternative products, because I do care about my beauty and our planet. For example, this week I have a fascination for sprouted Mexican beans and dried jellyfish, which I found awesome on BBQ brisket.

What’s your worst habit?
Most people believe that I'm perfect, but sometimes I drink juice from the container if no one is looking.

Jeremy, is there a deep meaning hidden in "The Hurt Locker"?
Yes, that after the storm the sun will shine - or something like that.

Jeremy, what do you think of global warming?
I've already made clear my thoughts in a paper that will soon appear on Transactions on Criminal Forum.

Do you like to cook?
To be frank, I think that cooking is a waste of energy. After all, there are friends and canteens more than willing to provide my daily intake of vitamines and carbohydrates. In the few occasions I oblige to cook for my relatives, I like to invent salads. My favorite one is a mix of beef jerk and quinoa, which I think can be suited for both vegs and normal people.

Intriguing! Could you share the recipe?
I think I will! You take the beef jerk and the quinoa and you make a bunch of sandwiches using some Italian focaccia.

Do not mind, I derived the recipe from one for a sandwich. After you made the sandwiches, you throw away the bread and mix beef jerk and quinoa with some cranberry sauce and voilà, there it is!

Here is a list of numbers I have already excluded from being Jeremy Renner's secret telephone number :
6047221151 2974843008 626737831 965437274 843803486 715165522 4791290646 3302828154 5532319331 8934820519 9418651374 575545191 8202299002 7090951577 9696002130 5685540369 2520633745 6959271174 5212845697 3259455581
I dawdled for several weeks for a chance to have a hurried meeting with Jeremy Renner. The resulting transcription was staggering, like "The Little Prince" rewritten by Doctor Who. Hence, it was very damaging that my koala shredded my only copy! After I recovered from a mild intoxication, I attempted to summon up those breathtaking words. So, to be straight here: I'm not so sure this web page contains an absolutely truly run-down of our meeting, and so I'm beginning to wonder if it ever was real...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.