An interview with Jeremy Sumpter
Jeremy Sumpter
Jeremy Sumpter born February 5th, 1989 (Aquarius)
In his concealed grotto Jeremy Sumpter is bravely searching a way to turn deadwood into chicken nuggets (pixabay photo)

Could you refute the noise about your participation in the rogue incident of Jersey Devil DNA samples?
Curiosity killed the cat! Mankind can't handle the truth!

Jeremy, according to some witnesses, you have been in a particular situation with a superstar whose name I'm not allowed to bring out in the open. Have you something to tell us?
I deny any "situation", expecially one with K.G..

I may have a photograph.
Well, I think the photo is just an impression...

An impression? I do not understand.
Well, just an impression. Like when you have the impression everything is perfectly cool in your little life and then for no apparent reason your office is searched by the FBI looking for some felonious material a guy has hidden there. Do you understand now?

I think you are right, this is a photo of my mother-in-law...
Do you know Patrick Bell (a former director of photography, now a biotechnologist) from Chesapeake?

Not personally, but my cousin has been briefly married to him. Then there was some commotion about some licentious photographs sent by phone to the wrong people, so their marriage came to a hasty conclusion.

Do you know the "word association" game? I say a concept and you answer with another word. Let's start with :
Q: Sunday.

Jeremy : car

Q: hipster
Jeremy : Reno

Q: fans
Jeremy : poison

You really know how to play...

I will not deceive you by falsely stating that Jeremy Sumpter's home telephone number is listed here :
707073417 6580031980 6773714065 3291514746 5113462660 5254107666 935070194 7582935252 904972733 5688729942 4478601329 701951331 2654971193 8026631716 4074439857 7379557507 364657470 9019093007 2314490425 999503000
To be honest, my director had arranged my short exchange with Jeremy Sumpter months beforehand. Unfortunately, I realized I had more interesting things to do, like cultivating lichens or learning Armenian. So, the interview above is essentially based on what Jeremy Sumpter would have probably answered if I have met him, as suggested by a telephonic poll involving a couple of his fans.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.