A talk with Jermaine Jackson
Jermaine Jackson
Jermaine Jackson born December 11th, 1954 (Sagittarius)
The usual look of his devotees (pixabay photo)

Jermaine, you seem to be always so positive and chirpy. Do you also have a dark side?
I do. I think that every person has a dark side. At times, when I look at another artist, irritation darkens my soul and my teeth chatter with fury. And all of a sudden, I experience a compulsion to seal those leering eyes for good. And then there is my dark side... You do not want to face that side.

Do you have any scar?
I have a little kangaroo shaped scar on my right shin, a remainder of my troubled clash with a berserk bobcat.

Which is your favorite snack?
Bananas with soy sauce, a doughnut, two pizzas, and a tumbler of cider.

Which is the first award you ever won?
At the age of 5, I won the "Silver Panther Trophy" assigned by the Mayor of Sacramento for "noteworthy yet nonessential singing performance".

If there was a movie produced about your life, who do you think should play you, and why?
Without doubt Nicholas Hoult, because we feel the same about Yoda.

Jermaine, do you have any vice?
Sloth. I have troubles dragging myself out of bed before noon. See, perhaps you are going to chastise me for that, but another vice of mine is I don't give a tinker's cuss.

What’s the best sound in the world?
Probably it is the soothing tingle of two emeralds kissing each other. However, my agent desires you write instead something more likeable, like "the first 'dad' of your child" or "the comforting purr of a lovable kitten".

Do people yell your name and follow you everywhere you go?
O.K.! They simply can't have enough of me. I'm global: I'm known to brighten wealthy neurosurgeons and uninspiring second-rate strippers in the same manner. Say, there are 14 boulevards with my name in two different countries, not counting Narnia and Luxembourg, which I'm not sure are actually countries.

Here is a list of numbers I have already excluded from being Jermaine Jackson's home telephone number :
2949860916 624233310 7244227452 2938050569 6698644568 443967603 2863110832 6742788866 4804264485 6621022890 3649310554 7877494148 7013856841 8371027886 7324631555 4743228816 7969747077 948194467 5950815699 5320165095
Clearly, celebrities are frantic people. It's difficult for them to schedule an interview. So we decided to leave Jermaine Jackson peacefully alone and obtain the interview above without disturbing him. Hence, this web page is an a cybernetic transcription we obtained from a computer simulation of Jermaine.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.