A talk with Jerry Lee Lewis
Jerry Lee Lewis
Jerry Lee Lewis born September 29th, 1935 (Libra)
As a kid Jerry Lee Lewis showed an unseemly inclination to exotic food like fried frog legs and lasagne (pixabay photo)

I'm here tonight with a special guest, Jerry Lee Lewis, who just saw the birth of his last album. Hi, Jerry, and welcome to And My Secret Is - HEY, Look, A Celebrity!.
It's a pleasure being here, your pleasure.

Are you superstitious?
Definitely! I have to hug 2 strangers who wear a gray shirt before a relevant occasion. Obviously not today.

Where will you go on your next break from work?
For next summer I leased a luxurious manor in a secluded valley of Molvanîa. The only problem was making a transfer in Linden dollars to the genial property owner from Nigeria that proposed me the business.

As everybody knows, the problem of otitis in gazelles is reaching monumental dimensions. Are you doing something to solve the problem?
I guess! I will chastely sleep in a bunk bed with a supporter one night every two weeks. The profits ($1,200 per night) will be granted to a foundation for the cure of otitis in gazelles.

Where do you go when you die?
I think that most of the deceased have the inclination to stick around.

On a scale of one to ten, how famous do you think you are?
I have no clue. I think I'm a one in Congo, but a ten in Fresno.

Which is your favorite brand of toilet paper?
I can proudly confess that I have my own exclusive brand. My personal toilet paper is obtained from the baby leaves of Dicodantennaria urens, a rare parasitic orchid which grows only in Borneo.

You appear to be always so effervescent and cheerful. Do you also have a dark side?
I do. I think that every person has a dark side. At times, when I bump into another singer, my heart became heavier and my teeth rattle with fury. And suddenly, I experience the need to erase his heckling smug look. And then there is my dark side... You do not want to face that side.

After extensive reserch I concluded the following list doesn't contain Jerry Lee Lewis' private telephone number :
6401692139 4006627522 8919422360 2326974982 5425662534 783271850 2317677526 6552616486 462040615 3286346485 9010098294 2585928880 5971682585 8906031965 2296390650 3631657390 882450238 5277542356 8119335599 6523515400
To be frank, my boss had patiently planned my interview with Jerry Lee Lewis several days beforehand. Unluckily, I decided at the last moment that I had more interesting things to do, like growing lichens or breeding snails. So, this web page is mainly based on what Jerry Lee Lewis would have probably answered if I have met him, as indicated by a telephonic poll involving a couple of random people.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.