An interview with Jessica Biel
Jessica Biel
Jessica Biel born March 3rd, 1982 (Pisces)
Writing her will, Jessica Biel has requested that her body should be buried under a pyramid (pixabay photo)

Jessica, what's your vice?
Laziness. I have troubles to be out of bed until 2 PM. See, I’m surely going to be censured for that. Fortunately another vice of mine is not giving a damn.

Which is the most embarrassing DVD (or blu-ray) in your collection?
I say! Apart from "Swept Away", probabably it is "The Sweetest Thing" or "Meet the Spartans".

You are always so strapping. Which is your secret?
I have embraced the Blue Diet: in January I eat nothing but blue foods, like blueberries, blue corn, blue Smarties and my special Smurf meat pie.

Don't you think it is time you write an autobiography?
Aye! It is regrettable that I have so little time, if any, to put down the words, as we authors use to say. Last week I've read the summary of the abridged version of the book "The Road", and I found it more or less palatable. Therefore, I've ordered my agent to call the author - a certain Cormac McCarthy - because I truly need a ghost writer, but for the time being I've not heard any news.

Do you have any birthmark?
I have a little spider shaped birthmark on my right heel. Probably my father did involuntarily eat a spider while my mother was expecting me.

Some witnesses have seen you in a particular setting with a superstar whose name or gender I'm not at liberty to expose. Do you care to comment?
Do you mean P.L.? It's an absolutely inoffensive thing. I deny any other such "situation", expecially one with W.U...

I may have a photo.
You know, the photo is surely just an accident...

An accident? I do not understand.
Well, accidents happen all the time. Like when you "accidentally" photoshop a photo. Or, for example, your dog or your car may "accidentally" catch fire. Are we on the level?

I made a mistake, this is a picture of myself...

I will not deceive you by falsely stating that Jessica Biel's home telephone number is listed here :
4891744533 2067943632 7221035703 622711981 2924340570 793413267 5877608286 8479458086 7446171730 5669750714 928542249 3730049057 476578504 6027344993 353662570 8361902182 961169971 3785834004 4671008401 315511526
Clearly, celebrities are frantic people. It's not easy for them to find the time for an interview. So we decided to leave Jessica Biel completely alone and obtain the interview above without disturbing her. Thus, this web page is an a cybernetic transcription we obtained thanks to a computer simulation of Jessica.
Other interviews worth checking:
Donald Trump Ed Westwick Pierce Brosnan Candace Cameron Bure Eliza Taylor Katie Melua Meat Loaf Gugu Mbatha-Raw Asa Butterfield Lupita Nyong'o Paula Patton Ashley Greene Ryan Kwanten Sam Neill Naomi Watts Haley Webb Iggy Pop Michelle Pfeiffer Amanda Bynes Ewan McGregor
NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.