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A talk with Jessica Lange
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Jessica Lange
Jessica Lange born April 20th, 1949 (Aries)
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Her typical breakfast when she wants to travel light (pixabay photo)

Are you superstitious?
Sure thing! I use to paint my big toe in white right before a significant business meeting. Clearly not today.

Jessica, you are also well known for your bizarre requests when staying in hotels. Is it true? Can you tell us why and maybe make an example of something you usually ask?
Everybody should learn that Jessica needs what Jessica needs, and she always gets it. Whether it's yellow slippers made of feathers or mammoth jerky.

Where do you go when you die?
If you have been kind, you go to Madrid, if you have been boring you go to Ottawa.

Your agent told me you are just back from a filming location in Tibet. How was your stay?
To be frank, I lived 2 weeks in a Tibetan monastery before realizing it was not the Best Western hotel. The silver lining? I learnt to move light things with my mind.

Do you have a favorite brand of toilet paper?
Imho, common brands are for common people. My personal hand-made toilet paper is obtained from the leaves of Nothomaria hirsuta, a rare orchid which grows only in Borneo.

An imaginary character you recognize as an imaginary friend?
Probably Pancho Villa, because of our cool hair style.

Can we play the "word association" game? I tell you a concept and you say quickly another word. I begin with :
Q: water.

Jessica : vodka

Q: guilt
Jessica : beach

Q: sadness
Jessica : vengeance

You are a pro at this game...

I will not deceive you by falsely stating that Jessica Lange's private telephone number is listed here :
6290118956 2584144932 5929564001 9526057009 607938838 208231165 7084393661 4552070455 9867576326 6926962103 708938975 5604425980 762493816 931593344 919057366 576101598 247353984 795915555 2041503781 4125528946
I scheduled a little rendezvous with Jessica Lange several weeks in advance. The resulting transcription was stunning, like it was written by the spirit of George Orwell at his peak. Thus, it was highly unfavorable that my uncle Albert by accident (I hope!) ate my only copy! After I left the padded cell, I tried to remember those fantastic words. To be frank here: I'm not one hundred percent sure this web page contains an absolutely truly report of our exchange, and now I'm starting to ask myself if it ever took place...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.