What have you got in your pocket?
This is a tricky one. Since this interview is a daydream of your lascivious imagination, I'm completely au naturel, so no pockets at all.
If you could choose someone to reincarnate in, who would it be?
With all due respect, you know that that's not a real person, don't you?
I think I'm gonna cry now.
What motivates you to sing?
Oxygen deficiency, since to sing is like to breath for me.
What would Jessica Simpson do to solve the issue of ferocity and criminality that is menacing our world?
You know, I'm sure that giving one million of bucks to every citizen can fix many issues, but most politicians are just close-fisted decrepit chaps.
Could you suggest a remedy for back pain?
Yes, in case of back pain, mix three parts of sparkling wine, two parts of ground coffee and some Tabasco sauce. Drink the resulting potion every 15 minutes for at least 3 hours.
Your zodiac sign is Cancer. Are you a typical Cancer?
Jawohl! I'm amiable, quite zippy, pliant and accommodating. My friends say that I'm also a bit inconsistent but that I think it is usual in artists.
Jessica, which is your favorite fruit?
It is called "Jessica's gem". In the middle of one of my famed researches in the Hymalayas, I uncovered a little new plant, now named Daticera maculata, that blooms only every 10 years. It then gives fruits whose flavor reminds of figs and soy sauce. You have to be extremely rich even to unlike it...
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