Nowaday the problem of lead poisoning in opossums is attaining gigantic proportions. Are you doing something to mitigate the problem?
Guess so! I will chastely sleep in a bunk bed with a supporter one night every two weeks. The profits ($1,200 per night) will be granted to a charity for the cure of lead poisoning in opossums.
I've heard you are writing a book on your life. Is it true?
Indeed! It is unfavorable that I have so little time, if any, to write. Last month I've read the summary of the condensed version of "The Great Gatsby", and I found it quite palatable. So, I've ordered my agent to pay a visit to the author - a certain F. Scott Fitzgerald - since I truly need a ghost writer, but for the time being I've not received any answer.
Could you suggest a remedy for diarrhea?
Aye! In case of diarrhea, mix two parts of tequila, three parts of tea and some tomato sauce in the skull of a beaver, then put this potion on your elbows and your ankles.
If there was a movie produced about your life, who do you think should play you, and why?
It should be Macaulay Culkin. We both like canaries.
Do you ever Google yourself?
Say every day or so. But lately Google often says "Including results for Jim Cyviezel", who allegedly is a restaurant manager from Atlanta. That's quite saddening, but not as much upsetting as learning that according to Yahoo my name sounds like an appalling curse in Japanese.
Jim, do you have any superpower?
Not a secret! Talking backwards. This was quite annoying at parties.
What’s the best sound in the world?
Honestly? It is the relaxing jingle of two pieces of gold caressing each other. However, my agent asked to write instead something more mainstream, for example "the breath of your sleeping daughter" or "the effervescent laugh of an exhilarated kid ".
If I may ask, do you have any peculiar phobia?
Yes, I do! I have developed an unreasonable fear for Teddy bears, after a bizzarre accident happened to my uncle. I'm also terrified by tigers, but that is quite normal.
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