What do you eat between meals?
Parmesan cheese slices with buttermilk, a fruit pie, four rump steaks, and a glass of lemonade.
Don't you think it is time you write an autobiography?
But of course! It is deplorable that I have so little time to write. Last week I've seen the cover illustration of "Siddhartha", and I found it quite passable. So, I've ordered my agent to pay a visit to the author - a certain Hermann Hesse - since I need a ghost writer, but for the moment I've not received any answer.
What’s the best sound in the world?
Almost surely it is the calming jingle of two diamonds kissing each other. However, my agent demands to write instead something more likeable, like "the elated laugh of an innocent kid " or "the relaxing purr of an unworried kitten".
Have you ever had a supernatural experience?
Ah, good memories... Many years ago I went camping in Nicaragua with a special friend and we did "it" in the meadows, under the stars, in the middle of nature.
Do you use a pseudonym when you book, say, a limo? You know, to protect your privacy and to run away from devotees and stalkers
Sure! We do anything to ditch those cannibals. I usually adopt the alias "Jim Stirgess".
If I may ask, do you have any particular fear?
I have developed an unreasonable fear for Smurfs, by reason of an uncanny accident occurred to my cousin. I'm also scared by séances, but that is quite common.
What have you got in your pocket?
Bunk! This is a tricky one. As this interview is a product of your naughty neurons, I'm completely in the nude, so no pockets at all.
Your zodiac sign is Taurus. May I read you your horoscope?
Please proceed, my supporters say I'm a sucker for zodiacal folly.
Today a discouraging uneasiness and a wearying stressful condition are sabotaging your capability to smooth confrontations, but compared to next week today is full of joy, so good luck.
Gosh! You are dead on!
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